Di ako makapaniwala, it's already Thursday and my vacation is almost over. It's true what they say that time flies when you're enjoying yourself. How I wish I could have an entire month off. Good thing that Monday is Labour Day so I only have to work four days next week. I'm honestly dreading going back to work because I know what's waiting for me...tons of work, everyday training and lots of e-mails to reply to. It's not a pretty picture and trust me when I say you don't want to be in my shoes.
Jerry said I should enjoy my week off and that when I'm not at work, I shouldn't think about it. I guess he's right... no, I know he's right. But how can I not think of it? I don't like training and I wasn't hired to train... (it's a long story) but it's something I have to do. Alam mo yung feeling na papasok ka sa trabaho na di mo naman gusto? Extremely difficult. What makes it difficult is that fact that I have to force myself into doing something I don't want to do. My mom asked me the other day why I don't like my job and it made me think...why don't I like my job? The question had honestly left me speechless for a few minutes. I wasn't sure why I wasn't happy. It dawned on me that it wasn't just one thing. Rather, it was a combination of several things that made me dislike my job. First, I don't like what I do... I implement and train clients, do Q.A., create documentation for our software, and provide a bit of tech support. I do almost everything except for what I really want to do which is programming. Second, I have a "love-hate" relationship with my co-workers..sadly I feel "hate" more than "love". Third, the pay isn't even all too well and we don't even have benefits! sucks noh?
A lot of you prolly wonder why I'm even still working with the company I'm at now and to be honest, it's good experience for me. I don't get to program yet but I'm learning all the different aspects that surround it. I was willing to get paid lesser than what I'm supposed to be making just so I could gain valuable experience... knowledge that I know will be useful to me someday. Eto lang ang tumutulak sakin papasok sa umaga. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a job. Despite the fact that I would have to work extra hard to get to where I want to be, I'm still very blessed.
I am holding on to the saying, "Do your best and leave the rest to God"... I just need to be patient and let God take care of the rest.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I am afraid of getting old
I am afraid of getting old.
I am scared to wake up one day and find physical limitations due to my age. Can't run, can't eat certain foods, can't go anywhere without someone with me, can't hear well, can't see well..ugh. I also wonder what I will look like with wrinkled skin, thinning hair, a little bent over pehaps? But most of all I am scared of being left behind by the world. I'm scared of getting old and spending day by day at home and doing nothing. I can't just buy anything anymore kasi di na babagay. I don't want my kids or grand children to think that I don't understand the ways of the world anymore and that I am obsolete.
But you know what? Maybe when I get to that age, all the things I worry about now may not be as important to me anymore. I'll prolly be much wiser (I hope so) and less concerned about mundane things.
I just hope that when I look back at my life, I'll have no regrets and that I can tell myself I've lived my life to the fullest. With that thought, maybe getting old will be more bearable and hopefully not as bad as I think it is.
I am scared to wake up one day and find physical limitations due to my age. Can't run, can't eat certain foods, can't go anywhere without someone with me, can't hear well, can't see well..ugh. I also wonder what I will look like with wrinkled skin, thinning hair, a little bent over pehaps? But most of all I am scared of being left behind by the world. I'm scared of getting old and spending day by day at home and doing nothing. I can't just buy anything anymore kasi di na babagay. I don't want my kids or grand children to think that I don't understand the ways of the world anymore and that I am obsolete.
But you know what? Maybe when I get to that age, all the things I worry about now may not be as important to me anymore. I'll prolly be much wiser (I hope so) and less concerned about mundane things.
I just hope that when I look back at my life, I'll have no regrets and that I can tell myself I've lived my life to the fullest. With that thought, maybe getting old will be more bearable and hopefully not as bad as I think it is.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
A week off is good enough for me!
I'm so happy my vacation request finally got approved! So, this is officially my last week and then I'm off next week which means no phone calls, no e-mails and no training! I was so worried that they weren't going to approve it since we're so swamped. But had they not approved it, I would have thrown a hissy fit! haha!
Anyhow moving on, I recently got assigned a very important client. It's our biggest deal to date and I couldn't believe they gave it to me! I honestly never saw it coming. Surely they would assign it to my boss and I would prolly help out once in awhile but boy was I wrong! So there I was sitting in our VP's office with her explaining the situation... How important this deal is, how much money this is worth, what needs to be done, what to to expect, the process of doing things...yada yada yada... I was having one of those "Ally McBeal" moments. You know the one where she spaces out and starts imagining things? Yup, that was me. While listening to the VP go on and on and on, I was thinking of all my other clients, how much work I still have left, all my appointments, what's already on my calendar, worrying about my vacation, remembering Steve telling me I need to ask for a raise...and at the same time trying to keep my facial expression serious and attentive (Mark was also watching me intently so I had to concentrate even harder). Mind you, I had the urge to grab a paper weight and throw it at her. I guess my facial expression might have betrayed my thoughts because she (our VP) stopped midsentence and suddenly asked me, "oh do you have lot on your plate right now?" I had to stop myself from saying, "as if you didn't know" and instead explained in the nicest way possible that I wouldn't mind taking on the project but that it would be impossible for me to take on this project and do everything else altogether. So she said not to worry and that we would be hiring someone else to take on some of the projects I already had. Sure. I've heard that before and I don't see a reason why I should even be listening.
Bottom line is, I didn't have a choice anyway so I had to accept the assignment. I knew I was going to regret this whole thing from the moment I stepped into her office. This means that on top of all the things I'm already taking care of, I've added another one on my list that may require me to work irregular hours and I don't even get a raise! How wonderful.
Looking at brighter side of things, at least if I have to be at work at 3 am in the morning, I get picked up and dropped off afterwards, I have just been handed to right to say no to other things if I'm too busy taking care of this deal and I can delegate some stuff to my boss if really needed. harhar!
But on top of all of this, the really great thing about it is that I still get my vacation! I was so sure they were going to take back the permit they gave me but thank God I was wrong!
Anyhow moving on, I recently got assigned a very important client. It's our biggest deal to date and I couldn't believe they gave it to me! I honestly never saw it coming. Surely they would assign it to my boss and I would prolly help out once in awhile but boy was I wrong! So there I was sitting in our VP's office with her explaining the situation... How important this deal is, how much money this is worth, what needs to be done, what to to expect, the process of doing things...yada yada yada... I was having one of those "Ally McBeal" moments. You know the one where she spaces out and starts imagining things? Yup, that was me. While listening to the VP go on and on and on, I was thinking of all my other clients, how much work I still have left, all my appointments, what's already on my calendar, worrying about my vacation, remembering Steve telling me I need to ask for a raise...and at the same time trying to keep my facial expression serious and attentive (Mark was also watching me intently so I had to concentrate even harder). Mind you, I had the urge to grab a paper weight and throw it at her. I guess my facial expression might have betrayed my thoughts because she (our VP) stopped midsentence and suddenly asked me, "oh do you have lot on your plate right now?" I had to stop myself from saying, "as if you didn't know" and instead explained in the nicest way possible that I wouldn't mind taking on the project but that it would be impossible for me to take on this project and do everything else altogether. So she said not to worry and that we would be hiring someone else to take on some of the projects I already had. Sure. I've heard that before and I don't see a reason why I should even be listening.
Bottom line is, I didn't have a choice anyway so I had to accept the assignment. I knew I was going to regret this whole thing from the moment I stepped into her office. This means that on top of all the things I'm already taking care of, I've added another one on my list that may require me to work irregular hours and I don't even get a raise! How wonderful.
Looking at brighter side of things, at least if I have to be at work at 3 am in the morning, I get picked up and dropped off afterwards, I have just been handed to right to say no to other things if I'm too busy taking care of this deal and I can delegate some stuff to my boss if really needed. harhar!
But on top of all of this, the really great thing about it is that I still get my vacation! I was so sure they were going to take back the permit they gave me but thank God I was wrong!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Shopping 101
I realized I often post when I have some free time at work and I just realized it's not really the best idea because I tend to write stuff mostly about work and it's getting pretty boring.
Anyhow, they recently opened Abercrombie and Fitch at the Eaton Centre and I was thinking of passing by later to grab something... harhar! I am a self-confessed shopaholic and it's come to a point where in every payday my sweet boyfriend would tease me about it. He tells me he can almost guarantee a trip to the mall every 15th and 30th of the month,.. I would disagree if it weren't true, but sadly it is. In my defense, I don't spend my entire pay cheque and I would normally only buy one or two things (to which he would had, "yeah, one or two things every few days or so...") and I do try to avoid spending too much (I do have bills to pay after all and I have my savings account too!). Still, I find it extremely difficult to walk in and out of the mall without buying something. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that no, I am not buying anything... I would somehow see something I really, really like and end up buying it. Trust me, there's always something! I should just avoid going to the mall altogether I think!
So here are a few shops I like checking out every now and then:
H&M - can be found in all major shopping centers in the GTA. I love their wide selection of clothes, cute and cheap accessories, bags and you can't beat their prices! Not to mention the wide array of sizes making it a lot easier and less frustrating for shoppers to fit well into their clothes (especially for petites like me =p). Prices can be anywhere from $6 - $200.
Garage Clothing - my denim store! I simply love their jeans! Ok, so I'm very partial to them because I find it so hard to find jeans that fit me perfectly but you have to admit, you find a pair of jeans you love and you can't help but keep coming back for more! They also have tons of cute tops especially during summertime. Prices can be anywhere from $12 - $100 (sweet huh?).
Nine West - shoes! I am not a shoe-aholic like other girls but I buy a pair every now and then and walking into this store is like walking into a shoe museum (fine, I'm exaggerating) but they do have a nice collection varying from casual to dress shoes. It's not uber-expensive but it's not dirt cheap either. I've heard you can get a pair at discounted prices in the states but here in Canada, the prices are somewhere between $100 - $250. Yeah, I do get second thoughts when it comes to purchasing a pair of shoes that cost over $100 when I know I can get something better and cheaper somewhere else. Although, splurging on an absolutely gorgeous pair of Nine West shoes once in a while isn't such a bad idea. =p
The Bay - ok, so The Bay is a department store but maannn! It's like walking inside Rustans and yes, everything's expensive but I love visiting their make up section. They've got MAC, Dior, Cargo, Benefit, Shiseido, Clinique, Napoleon Perdis, Lise Watier, Estee Lauder, Lancome, and so much more! What's good about them is that they let you try almost anything. If you don't want to over spend, let them know what your budget is and they can give you some pretty good alternatives.
Bitter Sweet - simply: my stop for cute accessories. You can't try them on for hygienic purposes but you can hold them up against your ears if you like. ^-^ Prices are between $8 - $100.
Aldo and Aldo Accessories - most of my shoes are from Aldo. They've got different styles and colors to choose from and the prices aren't bad either. Aldo Accessories has some pretty neat stuff too like bags that go with the pair of shoes you're buying, scarves, hats, sunglasses, jewelry and very stylish belts. I also like the shoes they have for guys which is why Jerry and I can't help but stop at Aldo every now and then. Prices are between $30 - $250 for Aldo and $8 - $ 150 for Aldo Accessories.
Bentley at Yorkdale - Bentley at Yorkdale is the only Bentley store that has the best selection when it comes to bags. I don't know why but the other Bentley stores don't carry such a wide selection as the one at Yorkdale. Bentley at Yorkdale will sell Nine West and Guess bags at discounted prices when they have a sale and you can't beat the prices.
Dynamite - this store has some pretty good dress clothes (semi-formal clothing). Although I can't fit well into their dress pants (they're too long for me), their tops fit me just fine. I also buy my capri pants from them. Surprisingly, their capri pants fit me perfectly and have just the right length! Prices are between $15 - $100.
Costa Blanca - as soon as they get new stuff, you better make sure you come rushing to their store! The store is almost always packed (just like H&M) and their stuff sell pretty fast. Their summer tops are very cute and one-of-a-kind and they've got cute dresses too! Prices are between $12 - $100.
Zara - I used to think this store had Banana Republic prices but to my surprise (and much to my delight) their prices don't really differ much from H&M or GAP. Aritzia's even more expensive. I like how they arrange their clothes by color (much like how Freeway does it). All the blue tops are in one section, all the red ones in another section and so on. I also like the wide variety of styles they offer and the range of sizes that they have. You can buy a nice shirt for only $12 or buy good quality bermuda shorts for less than $50 or buy a dressy top for only $30.
Abercrombie & Fitch - i love their polo shirts! Although the price of one is double the price of a polo shirt from another store, I would still shell out $ for one. They've got good colors, great quality and it shows. I wore a pink Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirt the other day and people at work kept complimenting it. The Abercrombie & Fitch stores here in the GTA (I know of only 2) just recently opened and I haven't really bought anything except for the shirts. Their clothes are a bit pricey, between $30 - $250.
Levis - I love wearing Levis jeans but the last pair of Levis that I bought was from the Phils w/c I bought right before I left. I have yet to buy a pair here in Canada but a pair of Levis is guaranteed to last you for well over a few years (guaranteed of course that you don't grow any bigger!).
Sephora - make up pit stop. Aside from The Bay, Sephora is also a good place to shop for make up. They have brands that you don't find anywhere else and you're free to try anything you see. They have Paul & Joe, Dior, Cargo, Shiseido, Guerlain, Benefit, Nars, and so many more.
There.
There are also plenty of little shops located along Queen St. that I would love to check out but unfortunately haven't had the time to. I also don't own a car so I am limited to the places easily accessible by transit. I also love the market located in downtown Ottawa. Simply put, I love shopping, I love being able to go around different stores and just checking them out. I don't always buy and even when I do, I don't buy more than 5 items at a time. First, because I watch my budget and second, if I can't convince myself it's practical I prolly won't get it (there are exceptions to this rule of course). Admittedly, I love to splurge once in awhile on an item I know I won't be able to find anywhere else or something I know I'll be using frequently (like say a pair of shoes).
I find that shopping is a good stress reliever. I often have the urge to go shopping when I'm awfully stressed at work. This may not be the best way to deal with stress but it helps. ^-^
Anyhow, they recently opened Abercrombie and Fitch at the Eaton Centre and I was thinking of passing by later to grab something... harhar! I am a self-confessed shopaholic and it's come to a point where in every payday my sweet boyfriend would tease me about it. He tells me he can almost guarantee a trip to the mall every 15th and 30th of the month,.. I would disagree if it weren't true, but sadly it is. In my defense, I don't spend my entire pay cheque and I would normally only buy one or two things (to which he would had, "yeah, one or two things every few days or so...") and I do try to avoid spending too much (I do have bills to pay after all and I have my savings account too!). Still, I find it extremely difficult to walk in and out of the mall without buying something. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that no, I am not buying anything... I would somehow see something I really, really like and end up buying it. Trust me, there's always something! I should just avoid going to the mall altogether I think!
So here are a few shops I like checking out every now and then:
H&M - can be found in all major shopping centers in the GTA. I love their wide selection of clothes, cute and cheap accessories, bags and you can't beat their prices! Not to mention the wide array of sizes making it a lot easier and less frustrating for shoppers to fit well into their clothes (especially for petites like me =p). Prices can be anywhere from $6 - $200.
Garage Clothing - my denim store! I simply love their jeans! Ok, so I'm very partial to them because I find it so hard to find jeans that fit me perfectly but you have to admit, you find a pair of jeans you love and you can't help but keep coming back for more! They also have tons of cute tops especially during summertime. Prices can be anywhere from $12 - $100 (sweet huh?).
Nine West - shoes! I am not a shoe-aholic like other girls but I buy a pair every now and then and walking into this store is like walking into a shoe museum (fine, I'm exaggerating) but they do have a nice collection varying from casual to dress shoes. It's not uber-expensive but it's not dirt cheap either. I've heard you can get a pair at discounted prices in the states but here in Canada, the prices are somewhere between $100 - $250. Yeah, I do get second thoughts when it comes to purchasing a pair of shoes that cost over $100 when I know I can get something better and cheaper somewhere else. Although, splurging on an absolutely gorgeous pair of Nine West shoes once in a while isn't such a bad idea. =p
The Bay - ok, so The Bay is a department store but maannn! It's like walking inside Rustans and yes, everything's expensive but I love visiting their make up section. They've got MAC, Dior, Cargo, Benefit, Shiseido, Clinique, Napoleon Perdis, Lise Watier, Estee Lauder, Lancome, and so much more! What's good about them is that they let you try almost anything. If you don't want to over spend, let them know what your budget is and they can give you some pretty good alternatives.
Bitter Sweet - simply: my stop for cute accessories. You can't try them on for hygienic purposes but you can hold them up against your ears if you like. ^-^ Prices are between $8 - $100.
Aldo and Aldo Accessories - most of my shoes are from Aldo. They've got different styles and colors to choose from and the prices aren't bad either. Aldo Accessories has some pretty neat stuff too like bags that go with the pair of shoes you're buying, scarves, hats, sunglasses, jewelry and very stylish belts. I also like the shoes they have for guys which is why Jerry and I can't help but stop at Aldo every now and then. Prices are between $30 - $250 for Aldo and $8 - $ 150 for Aldo Accessories.
Bentley at Yorkdale - Bentley at Yorkdale is the only Bentley store that has the best selection when it comes to bags. I don't know why but the other Bentley stores don't carry such a wide selection as the one at Yorkdale. Bentley at Yorkdale will sell Nine West and Guess bags at discounted prices when they have a sale and you can't beat the prices.
Dynamite - this store has some pretty good dress clothes (semi-formal clothing). Although I can't fit well into their dress pants (they're too long for me), their tops fit me just fine. I also buy my capri pants from them. Surprisingly, their capri pants fit me perfectly and have just the right length! Prices are between $15 - $100.
Costa Blanca - as soon as they get new stuff, you better make sure you come rushing to their store! The store is almost always packed (just like H&M) and their stuff sell pretty fast. Their summer tops are very cute and one-of-a-kind and they've got cute dresses too! Prices are between $12 - $100.
Zara - I used to think this store had Banana Republic prices but to my surprise (and much to my delight) their prices don't really differ much from H&M or GAP. Aritzia's even more expensive. I like how they arrange their clothes by color (much like how Freeway does it). All the blue tops are in one section, all the red ones in another section and so on. I also like the wide variety of styles they offer and the range of sizes that they have. You can buy a nice shirt for only $12 or buy good quality bermuda shorts for less than $50 or buy a dressy top for only $30.
Abercrombie & Fitch - i love their polo shirts! Although the price of one is double the price of a polo shirt from another store, I would still shell out $ for one. They've got good colors, great quality and it shows. I wore a pink Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirt the other day and people at work kept complimenting it. The Abercrombie & Fitch stores here in the GTA (I know of only 2) just recently opened and I haven't really bought anything except for the shirts. Their clothes are a bit pricey, between $30 - $250.
Levis - I love wearing Levis jeans but the last pair of Levis that I bought was from the Phils w/c I bought right before I left. I have yet to buy a pair here in Canada but a pair of Levis is guaranteed to last you for well over a few years (guaranteed of course that you don't grow any bigger!).
Sephora - make up pit stop. Aside from The Bay, Sephora is also a good place to shop for make up. They have brands that you don't find anywhere else and you're free to try anything you see. They have Paul & Joe, Dior, Cargo, Shiseido, Guerlain, Benefit, Nars, and so many more.
There.
There are also plenty of little shops located along Queen St. that I would love to check out but unfortunately haven't had the time to. I also don't own a car so I am limited to the places easily accessible by transit. I also love the market located in downtown Ottawa. Simply put, I love shopping, I love being able to go around different stores and just checking them out. I don't always buy and even when I do, I don't buy more than 5 items at a time. First, because I watch my budget and second, if I can't convince myself it's practical I prolly won't get it (there are exceptions to this rule of course). Admittedly, I love to splurge once in awhile on an item I know I won't be able to find anywhere else or something I know I'll be using frequently (like say a pair of shoes).
I find that shopping is a good stress reliever. I often have the urge to go shopping when I'm awfully stressed at work. This may not be the best way to deal with stress but it helps. ^-^
Monday, August 14, 2006
of migrating and travelling
I feel sick. I think i just need some rest and I’ll be back to my normal self.
I can’t believe how fast time flies. I feel like I left the phils yesterday but in reality I’ve been gone for 2 years. Gosh, I remember the first few months I came here. I was so eager to save up some money just so I could go back. I spent a good few days crying and sulking and spending what little money I had on phone cards. Now when I think about it, it’s not that bad – being here I mean. I guess for the most part, it’s because I’ve already adjusted and also because I’ve learned to appreciate life in Canada. Yes, it’s not always “peachy” but it’s not as bad as I originally thought it would be.
I do miss a lot of things and I have no other desire than to be able to visit. But with all the bills I have to pay and with all of my other expenses, I find it a wee bit hard to save up enough money to afford a plane ticket. Eventually I will go back to the phils for a vacation but as of this time, I don’t know if I will ever go back for good. Sad to hear but it is the truth. It’s not that I despise living back home and it’s not that I’m too good for it either. But it is extremely hard to get settled in one place and then have to move again because everytime I move, I will have to start all over again. I think one factor that may greatly affect my decision would be if a company in Canada sends me to the Phils for business and I get to live in the Phils but earn dollars. LOL!
Shey was just telling me this morning that she’s back home for two weeks and will leave again for business for a few months. I envy her and all our other friends who get to travel because of work. Not only do they gain valuable work experience but they get to travel as well. I think she’s been in 3 or 4 different countries now! The only downside to it is the fact that she doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with her loved ones.
I would love to travel someday. I just can’t afford it yet but I eventually will. I have yet to list down the places I would want to visit but I know Europe would definitely be on the list together with some places in the Philippines that I haven’t been to yet and a few places in Asia. I was also thinking of going on a cruise but I can’t seem to push the thought of sinking ships behind. Blame it on the countless movies I’ve seen about cruise ships sinking. I don’t think I would want to go somewhere cold though. I’ve had winter in Canada and to me that is enough. ^-^
Until I can afford travelling to different countries, for now I am content with the different places I can go to close to home.
I can’t believe how fast time flies. I feel like I left the phils yesterday but in reality I’ve been gone for 2 years. Gosh, I remember the first few months I came here. I was so eager to save up some money just so I could go back. I spent a good few days crying and sulking and spending what little money I had on phone cards. Now when I think about it, it’s not that bad – being here I mean. I guess for the most part, it’s because I’ve already adjusted and also because I’ve learned to appreciate life in Canada. Yes, it’s not always “peachy” but it’s not as bad as I originally thought it would be.
I do miss a lot of things and I have no other desire than to be able to visit. But with all the bills I have to pay and with all of my other expenses, I find it a wee bit hard to save up enough money to afford a plane ticket. Eventually I will go back to the phils for a vacation but as of this time, I don’t know if I will ever go back for good. Sad to hear but it is the truth. It’s not that I despise living back home and it’s not that I’m too good for it either. But it is extremely hard to get settled in one place and then have to move again because everytime I move, I will have to start all over again. I think one factor that may greatly affect my decision would be if a company in Canada sends me to the Phils for business and I get to live in the Phils but earn dollars. LOL!
Shey was just telling me this morning that she’s back home for two weeks and will leave again for business for a few months. I envy her and all our other friends who get to travel because of work. Not only do they gain valuable work experience but they get to travel as well. I think she’s been in 3 or 4 different countries now! The only downside to it is the fact that she doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with her loved ones.
I would love to travel someday. I just can’t afford it yet but I eventually will. I have yet to list down the places I would want to visit but I know Europe would definitely be on the list together with some places in the Philippines that I haven’t been to yet and a few places in Asia. I was also thinking of going on a cruise but I can’t seem to push the thought of sinking ships behind. Blame it on the countless movies I’ve seen about cruise ships sinking. I don’t think I would want to go somewhere cold though. I’ve had winter in Canada and to me that is enough. ^-^
Until I can afford travelling to different countries, for now I am content with the different places I can go to close to home.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
autumn is in the air
autumn is almost here... ay how sad. i wish it were summer all year long but alas, this is the way the world goes.
slave work
Sobrang daming trabaho! Nakakabaliw na… too much work and there’s only one of me! Dangggg I need a vacation! Oh sorry, let me rephrase… I’m desperate for a vacation. I don’t even care whether I’m going out of town or not. I just don’t want to go to work. I want to be able to sleep all day, go wherever I want and just be able to go through the day without once thinking of work. Everytime someone goes on vacation, I envy them…very very much. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, look at my brothers sleeping in their beds and I think to myself, “ang sarap naman…buti pa sila..” Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that I have a job. I just want some time off… even for a few days…a week preferrably.
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