Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ang Bilis Naman

Di ako makapaniwala, it's already Thursday and my vacation is almost over. It's true what they say that time flies when you're enjoying yourself. How I wish I could have an entire month off. Good thing that Monday is Labour Day so I only have to work four days next week. I'm honestly dreading going back to work because I know what's waiting for me...tons of work, everyday training and lots of e-mails to reply to. It's not a pretty picture and trust me when I say you don't want to be in my shoes.

Jerry said I should enjoy my week off and that when I'm not at work, I shouldn't think about it. I guess he's right... no, I know he's right. But how can I not think of it? I don't like training and I wasn't hired to train... (it's a long story) but it's something I have to do. Alam mo yung feeling na papasok ka sa trabaho na di mo naman gusto? Extremely difficult. What makes it difficult is that fact that I have to force myself into doing something I don't want to do. My mom asked me the other day why I don't like my job and it made me think...why don't I like my job? The question had honestly left me speechless for a few minutes. I wasn't sure why I wasn't happy. It dawned on me that it wasn't just one thing. Rather, it was a combination of several things that made me dislike my job. First, I don't like what I do... I implement and train clients, do Q.A., create documentation for our software, and provide a bit of tech support. I do almost everything except for what I really want to do which is programming. Second, I have a "love-hate" relationship with my co-workers..sadly I feel "hate" more than "love". Third, the pay isn't even all too well and we don't even have benefits! sucks noh?

A lot of you prolly wonder why I'm even still working with the company I'm at now and to be honest, it's good experience for me. I don't get to program yet but I'm learning all the different aspects that surround it. I was willing to get paid lesser than what I'm supposed to be making just so I could gain valuable experience... knowledge that I know will be useful to me someday. Eto lang ang tumutulak sakin papasok sa umaga. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a job. Despite the fact that I would have to work extra hard to get to where I want to be, I'm still very blessed.

I am holding on to the saying, "Do your best and leave the rest to God"... I just need to be patient and let God take care of the rest.

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