My first tennis experience.

As usual, the weekend flew by. Steve taught me how to play Tennis. I have never played Tennis before and although the thought of playing was exciting, it also worried me a bit. Have you seen me? I’m tiny! I’m not good at sports that require a lot of strength or a lot of running. We didn’t play a real game. It was more like him lightly hitting the ball in my direction and me trying to hit it back. The first few times I completely missed the ball and was swinging at nothing but air and then I started to do better… just a tad bit better… not a whole lot. Thank God nobody else was at the tennis court except for a guy playing with his little daughter. It would have been really embarrassing if someone who was good at it saw my pathetic little self trying to hit the ball back.

Eventually I was able to hit it back but I had no control of where it went. Steve was running all over the place trying to hit my ball back. My balls where going everywhere! One of the balls actually went over the fence and hit one of the parked cars. Whoops! Hahaha!

I am so out of shape, it’s not funny. I was hyperventilating after being in the tennis court for only 10 minutes. After half an hour, my heart was pounding so hard I could feel my veins in my temples and it seemed as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest. Steve, on the other hand, was fine. I must have been a very frustrating opponent.

We only played for about 45 minutes or so and then we decided to leave it for another day because I was already exhausted. I had to lie down when we got home before going to the movies.

Although it was really exhausting, I loved it. Who knew Tennis was so much fun? I love playing Table Tennis so it was just a much bigger version of it and involved so much more running and more space to cover with my legs. My right arm and thighs are a bit sore but I would love to play again.

The Life Survey (from Bom)

SAD SECTION:

01. Have you ever really cried your heart out?
~ Yes… and so many times

02. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
~ Almost all the time. I usually end up falling asleep when I cry.

03. Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
~ Rarely but I can think of a couple of occasions.

04. Do you cry when you get an injury?
~ Not really too much but there are times when I do.


HAPPY SECTION:

01. Are you a happy person?
~ Most of the time

02. What makes you happy?
~ Simple things… my loved ones, Steve, a good movie, a favorite song, great friends, blessings, a free parking spot... the good little things in life.

03. Is being happy overrated?
~ Never. It might not be necessary but it sure is important.

04. Can music make you happy?
~ It helps.


LOVE SECTION:

01. How many times have you had your heart broken?
~ A lot… not just with relationships but disappointments too.

02. Anyone besides your friends/family ever said they loved you?
~ Yes.

03. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
~ Yes, all the time.


HATE SECTION:

01. Who do you actually hate?
~ Hate is such a strong word. There are a few people that come to mind although I don’t know if I actually hate them or if it’s just dislike.

02. Have you ever made a hit list?
~ I think I thought about it once. Not that I intend on doing anything about it but I always imagined that if I had special powers, I would show them! Hahahaha!

03. Are you a mean bully?
~ Nope.

04. Have you ever been on a hit list?
~ Maybe?


SELF- ESTEEM SECTION:

01. Are you happy with yourself?
~ I’m ok with who I am. There are times when I get a little self-conscious but everyday I learn a little bit more about myself and there are things that I realize I can and cannot do and come to terms with it.

02. Do you wish you could be someone else?
~ Sometimes…not so much to be them, but just being able to do the things they do, be where they are or have what they have.

Trouble with others.

I realized long ago that I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting. It’s not the forgiving part that I have trouble with… it’s the forgetting. They say you don’t really forgive if you can’t forget but it’s not my fault that my good memory keeps reminding me. I always say that it takes a lot to get on my bad side but once you’re there, you’re there for good. I must have gotten really hurt or upset for me to remember. Moreover, the person must have done me wrong repeatedly in more than one way.

For the record, I don’t hate a lot of people (in fact, I can only come up with 2 right now.. I don’t even know if I really hate them or if it’s just dislike that I feel for them). Hate is such a strong word after all. Although I admit that at the heat of the moment, when I am truly upset, I utter the words “I hate…” (insert name here). But I get annoyed, irritated, and impatient every now and then (hey, who doesn’t?).

And then there are those very rare people that I meet that I don’t like from the get-go and I have no idea why. My mom tells me people tend to dislike those that they envy. I don’t know if that’s true ALL the time. There are people I don’t like but I don’t envy them. They just bother me… a LOT. I do realize that there are people in my life who I find difficult to get along with. Not that they did anything wrong to me… we just don’t click for some unknown reason. I don’t hate them either but I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to spend a huge amount of time with them. And to be honest, I can’t see myself spending a lot of time with them because I get very impatient. It’s something I realize I have to improve about myself but I’m struggling to be warm towards those I don’t like even if they didn’t do anything to me. So very wrong, I know.

I don’t think I’m a very difficult person to get along with but I’m not perfect. I realize there are people out there who must not like me very much either. But I guess we all try to get along as best as we can.

Today I learned…

• I like Smoked Black Forest Ham
  
• I like Havarti Cheese
  
• I don’t like Swiss cheese too much
  
• I have a tendency to slump over my desk… a LOT
  
• It is possible for me to do my usual morning rituals in under an hour

CN Tower.

Looking at Downtown Toronto from the top of the CN Tower

I finally went to the CN Tower on Saturday! Yay! Steve had gotten us free passes so we were able to get in for free and our tickets were for good for everything (except food). I took a few pictures and some videos using my cellphone but I haven’t had the chance to upload all of them (save for the few you see here) so most of them are still sitting on my phone.

My foot on the glass floors of the CN Tower

I have to admit I was a bit scared stepping on the glass floors. I didn’t think I’d react that way, to be honest. Steve was surprised to see me scared too. I did step on it but I felt a bit weak in the knees looking down. I can’t help but imagine myself falling to the ground. It said that the glass floors were durable enough to be able to hold the weight of 10 hippos but for some reason I just didn't feel safe stepping on it.

The elevator ride to the top and back down was pretty exciting because you could see everything outside (kinda like the elevators at Megamall). It would have been more enjoyable if I wasn’t so crammed in there. I also took a video of it but I don’t think it turned out too well. It might have been blurry.

It was a really good trip and we even went in the Motion Theatre afterwards which is basically a theatre where your seats move to give you the feel of whatever is happening in the movie. There was even a part in the movie where we got sprayed with a bit of water. Steve was holding our pictures which were taken in the CN Tower lobby and which we purchased afterwards and thankfully enough we had them wrapped in a bag so they didn't get sprayed.

Eventhough it was a chilly day and it was quite windy outside, I really enjoyed the trip.

Oh and did you know that CN stands for Canadian National?

W is for Work.

I’ve been saying over and over again how I plan to look for another job. So far, I haven’t accomplished anything. In fact, the resume I promised myself I would update is still sitting untouched on my hard drive. Yikes!

This month marks my second year with the company. I can’t believe it’s already been 2 years! I still feel that I’m not compensated enough so I’m thinking of having a discussion about it with the VP (hwek hwek hwek).

I’ve gotten so cranky the past few months that I’ve stopped trying to be nice all the time and instead of sugar-coating, I just tell the managers exactly how it is. Ok, I haven’t completely gotten over saying yes all the time but now I’m not afraid to tell the managers when I’ve got too much on my plate. I used to just keep on bending backwards for them. I still bend backwards but not all the time anymore. That counts for something, right? I don’t mind doing favors and taking on extra responsibilities… all I ask is that they be considerate with how I feel. Sino ba naman ang matutuwa sa tambak na trabaho tapos walang appreciation!

So it turns out that management has a way of tapping to our PC so they can see what we’re doing. I’ve always had a feeling I was being watched so this almost doesn’t come as a surprise to me. Even if they were monitoring what I did with my time, so what? I’ve always done what I’ve been asked to do and I’ve always been able to deliver as best as I can. If they have been watching me from the get-go, I’m sure they would know how I feel about them. LOL.

Squeeky clean.

I feel like my eyes are digging holes through my brain. Looking at the computer monitor for an entire day is not good. Nope, nope, nope.

Tita Judy is visiting from the Philippines this week and will be staying with us for a couple of days. Miracle of miracles, all it took was for a family friend to say she’s visiting and voila! The house is squeeky clean. I was so surprised to see the boys cleaning instead of playing on the computer. I’m glad to actually see more floor space in the living room instead of boxes and boxes of stuff. We didn’t really get rid of all the boxes but at least there are only a few of them left around the house.

Looking at those boxes made us realize how much junk we brought with us. JR and I were making fun of it… we even brought a power ranger action figure with us! How impractical and totally crazy is that?! We even brought some old school supplies (as if we couldn’t buy those here in Canada) and some old clothes that don’t even fit us anymore and are most likely not dryer friendly and will shrink as soon as we wash them. I guess for the most parts, we brought a lot of these old items with us because it was hard leaving everything behind.

I hope we get to visit the Philippines too… I miss everyone!

What would you choose?

If you could choose how you’re going to die, what would you choose? Die a sudden death which is both quick and painless or die with a terminal illness which is slow and could potentially be painful?

Most people I ask would say they’d rather die quick and painless. Very few would actually choose the latter. I can certainly understand why people would want a quick death… I mean, who’d want a slow, painful transition right?

But then when you think about it, both options have their own pros and cons. Although quick is most often painless, it is also so sudden. No opportunity to say your last goodbyes, no opportunity to make things right and no opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love them. Someone did tell me he’d rather die all of sudden in all his health so people will remember him in his “good” state instead of leaving behind a memory of him detoriating.

Although it seems pretty crazy to want to die slowly and potentially painful, it does have its own pros to it. You’d probably detoriate right before your loved ones eyes and probably go through a lot of difficulty but at least you have a bit of time to say goodbye to those who are dear to you. At least you get a chance to tell the people you care for that you love them. The bottomline is that you get an opportunity to “take care” of things before you go.

What would I choose? Right now, I’m leaning towards the latter. I want to be able to say goodbye. I want to be able to tell the people I care for how much I love them. I want to make sure that the people I leave behind will be ok.

Of course, God still has the final say regardless of what I choose. I just pray that both me and my loved ones will be ok.