It's doggy dog world it seems.

I was reading an article on MSN entitled “10 Secrets that Millionaires Keep” and fifth on the list was this:

“You Don’t Get Rich by Being Nice”

If I had a penny for every time someone told me this, I’d have a million too!

People here always tell me I’m too nice when it comes to my professional life. That I don’t know when to demand for what I deserve. That I should speak up when I feel that I am not being compensated enough.

Like that’s easy to do.

Truth is, I have a difficult time speaking up especially when it comes to asking for a raise or more vacation time or for something that I truly want. I have difficulty telling management that I am not comfortable taking on more responsibility without due compensation. In short, I am more of a “yes” person. I say yes to almost everything… favors, tasks, projects… even responsibilities that shouldn’t even be mine.

I also find it difficult to speak to staff firmly… always worried about offending someone or being seen as a tyrant. I don’t want to seem overly demanding. I want to be seen as a friendly, reasonable co-worker. But it’s finding the balance in between that gets me. Over time, I am beginning to realize I can’t always be nice or else I will be taken advantage of. I have to be firm too when needed. I have to be able to show staff that I am nice but that I will whip you to shape when you need some butt-slapping (maybe I shouldn’t be saying that…LOL).

Whenever I have this discussion with other people, they always tell me that the people who make the most money and are successful are those who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. They’re confident enough to say “Give me what is fair because I deserve it” and refuse to back down.

Often I see people who have made a lot of money and have become successful to a degree. And they're the ones who have put themselves first before anyone or anything else. I keep wondering to myself, do I need to be difficult and selfish to be successful? Do I need to always put myself first and have the "me first" approach to everything? I hope not. I certainly don't want to be one of those people who are successful but are inconsiderate of others. I still believe in thinking of the good of the many and treating others with respect. I do not believe in stepping over people to get what I want and I certainly am not the scheming type. Sure, I want to be rich and successful... but in a way that is fair. I want my success to be a product of my diligence and hard work and not from cheating or by being pushy.

You know that saying? It's a "Dog Eat Dog world"? Yeah, I wish it weren't true. But sadly, the more I work, the truer it appears to be.