Princess Bride

Please don’t make fun of me for saying this but… I seriously don’t recall ever seeing Princess Bride! I know… I know it’s a crime but I really, really don’t think I ever saw it.

Yet everyone in the planet seems to have seen it… everyone seems to have loved it… and everyone keeps mentioning it in their blogs. I, on the other hand, have no idea what it is about (although I do think someone has already told me a bit about it and I just can’t remember). When was it released? Where was I back then? Why didn’t I see it? (Or if I had already seen it) Why can’t I remember? I wonder how such a popular movie could have evaded me. But if it came out a long, long time ago, then it was probably released at that time of my life where the only movies I watched were the ones chosen for me by my parents (meaning I was too young to pick out movies on my own).

I am so curious and yet every time Steve and I make a trip to Blockbuster, I can never remember to borrow it.

I wonder if I, too, will like it.

Music.

With all the wedding buzz that has been going in the past few months (mind you, that wedding buzz I was referring to was mostly created by a tiny little bee called me), there are a few things that totally skipped my mind until someone asked. Like the rings for example. Steve and I had talked about almost everything we were going to do for the wedding… the venue for the ceremony and the reception, the invitations, ideas for favours, where we were going to get the flowers… and so on and so forth. The one thing we forgot about and almost didn’t include in the budget? The rings. Yep, it is actually quite possible to forget about it. Imagine what it would have been like for us to take that trip down the aisle and at the moment the minister asks us for the rings, we go, “uhm… yeah, about that… you see.. we, uhm, kinda forgot…”. Thankfully, one of us remembered (and that one of us isn’t me).

A friend had recently asked me if I had already picked out the song for when I walk down the aisle and if Steve and I had already decided on which song we were going to dance to. That’s another thing I hadn’t considered until said friend mentioned it. That same night, I went online and started Google-ing songs (because as it turns out, when I need to come up with my favorite, meaningful songs, nothing comes to mind… I couldn’t remember a single one). And so I thought I would go online and look at what other people danced to. Maybe it would spark something in me to remember the songs I once told myself I would dance to on my wedding day. Every girl has that list somewhere right?

So I found a few songs that I thought I would consider. I still haven’t decided on which songs we are actually using (of course Steve and I have to decide on them together so all I’m doing is building a list of songs to go over).

Today while I was reading online, my iPod was playing in the background and a song came on which I thought would be a perfect song to have in our list (of course I didn’t remember even having that song in my iPod!). Does anyone know of some nice songs we could use?

Mope-y.

Lately, JR and I have been looking at the mirror every few minutes, sighing and commenting on how much we have been breaking out. Every morning, right before I shower, I do a quick facial survey and this is what it sounds like in my head…

“Ahhh… good…good.. nothing there... oooooh… thank God that pimple’s going away…”

“…buti nalang that cream’s working… it better work dammit, I spent a fortune on the darn thing…”

“ahhh sh*t, may bagong pimple na naman?! Where the hell did that come from overnight??”

“Nakakainis.. ayoko na pumasok.”

And then I proceed to cover the pimply areas with my hands while I try to imagine how beautiful I would be if I had smooth, flawless skin. LOL.

Seriously, I think it’s unfair that I break out so much while others don’t have skin problems at all. I already have a lot of grey hairs (blame it on my really wonderful genes) so having acne-prone skin on top of it is just a big fat bonus. It’s so depressing.

I try to be optimistic. I tell myself there are a lot of people out there who have worse problems than I do and that it’s the personality that counts and not the looks (Hahahaha… yes, this is what helps me sleep at night). I know I’m being shallow but hey, people don’t see my personality from afar, they only see what’s outside so you can’t blame me for feeling a bit mope-y.

I’m 25 years old dammit, I shouldn’t be breaking out anymore! Hmph.

Homesick.

Last night, my dad, my two brothers and I went to Jessie Jr. to have dinner. Mom’s in Montreal for the week on business and because we can’t feed ourselves without her, we pretty much have to go out for meals. I suppose we could make a few meals… but we are a bunch of lazy, hungry individuals who find it rather easy to order instead of making it ourselves.

Although it was a bit chilly outside, we walked the 2-3 blocks to the restaurant. We decided to order an assortment of ulam which we would share amongst ourselves. The problem with eating in a Filipino restaurant is that everything just looks so good! Even though I am not particularly fond of ampalaya, I ordered it because the last time I ate ampalaya was four years ago when we were still living in the Philippines. Kahit mapait, masarap pa din. We also ordered pork bbq, pansit, lechong paksiw and… another dish but I can’t remember what it’s called. For drinks, we ordered Sarsi and Royal (in cans because they didn’t have bottled ones).

They had 3 flat screen TVs showing Filipino variety shows which were followed by the news. We watched the shows intently (we don’t have the Filipino Channel at home so this really is the only time we see Filipino shows). There are celebrities we still recognize and there are those who we don’t recognize at all. But the variety shows never change.. they’re still cheesy as hell. While watching Bente Kwatro Oras with Mel and Mike, JR asked me if they always spoke Tagalog in the news because he couldn’t remember. I told him as far as I remember, some yes and some no. To be honest, I wasn’t sure either. They were showing the flooded areas from the tropical storm Nina and I recognized España and a few other places. JR kept commenting that the flooding seemed so much worse that he remembers. I told him, it’s always been like that.

I have to say that being in a Filipino restaurant, eating Filipino food and being surrounded by fellow pinoys while watching Filipino shows feels so “home-y” (if there is such a word). It just seems so familiar. It made me miss the Philippines again. Today at work, I was watching a video blog which was taken in the Philippines and… surprise surprise… it made me cry. Yep, I actually cried. I don’t know why… I’m normally not this emotional. I’m blaming my hormones for it.

I feel homesick. After being in Canada for 4 years, I still feel homesick every now and then. I wonder… will it ever go away…?

Suprised?

I enjoy going to Friendster, Facebook and Multiply because in a way, I get a glimpse of other people’s lives. I especially love looking at the photos and the blog entries. I know it can easily be perceived as “nakiki-usyoso” (tama kaya yung term ko?) but my aim isn’t to gather info for the purposes of snooping around or for chismis. I just really find it fascinating to discover what has happened to the people I know. In a way, it makes me happy and proud when I see my friends become such accomplished people. I love seeing people get married and have families of their own, I love seeing pictures of where they’ve been, the people they’ve met and how much they’ve changed (or stayed the same) in all the years that have gone by.

I guess part of the fascination comes from remembering how they were back then and discovering who they are now. It just so typical for us to see others a certain way when we’re young and then we all grow up to be so different from that. I believe that we are, in most ways, the same people we were in grade school or high school but that we’ve learned so much more about others and ourselves since then. Our experiences have molded our personalities, attitude and outlook in life… some experiences have left us scarred while some have polished us to become better people. Some of us even grow up to be so different from how we were before!

Admit it, you have (in one way or another) formed an opinion about certain individuals. Even to the point of creating a mental picture of what you think they’ll be like a few years from now. Do people tend to turn out the way you expect them to? Or do people always surprise you? In my case, people always surprise me. The shy guy ends being the popular and outgoing person. The people who I thought would prefer to marry later in life actually end up marrying first (and vice versa). Look at me, I never thought I’d leave the country and I did. I never thought I’d actually take up a course with a lot of Math and analysis and yet that’s exactly what I did in college. Which leads me to wonder… did I live up to what others expected of me? I always wonder how others saw me when I was young and I always wonder if they are disappointed or just plain surprised at how I am now. Do they wonder if I am the same person they knew back then? Do they think I grew up beautiful or ugly? Do they look at my profile, my blog, and my photos and go… “ya, I thought so…” or do they go, “wow… I didn’t expect that…”?

Isn’t it interesting how we start off one way and end up seemingly different?

a BIG Thank You!

Today I am a quarter of a century old. If were being optimistic, I would celebrate the fact that I can now go into clubs and bars that have a minimum age limit of 25 years old. If I were to be pessimistic, I would think of it as another year closer to my death bed.

But today, I do not think of the privileges or the downsides of being 25. I am simply happy to be alive. Happy to love and be loved.

Today, I felt loved (not that I don’t feel loved any other day!) and I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it feels. To all of you who made sure I was reminded of how lucky and truly blessed I am to have such amazing people in my life, a very BIG THANK YOU!

Thank you for the many birthday greetings and the messages. Thank you for the surprise phone call from half-way around the world. It almost made me cry to hear all of your wonderful voices from the other end of the phone (I could barely speak! I think my colleagues could tell from my expression how happy I was). Thank you for celebrating my day even though I’m not there. Nakaka-touch talaga.

I miss you and I hope to see you all very soon.

Again, thank you.

It's doggy dog world it seems.

I was reading an article on MSN entitled “10 Secrets that Millionaires Keep” and fifth on the list was this:

“You Don’t Get Rich by Being Nice”

If I had a penny for every time someone told me this, I’d have a million too!

People here always tell me I’m too nice when it comes to my professional life. That I don’t know when to demand for what I deserve. That I should speak up when I feel that I am not being compensated enough.

Like that’s easy to do.

Truth is, I have a difficult time speaking up especially when it comes to asking for a raise or more vacation time or for something that I truly want. I have difficulty telling management that I am not comfortable taking on more responsibility without due compensation. In short, I am more of a “yes” person. I say yes to almost everything… favors, tasks, projects… even responsibilities that shouldn’t even be mine.

I also find it difficult to speak to staff firmly… always worried about offending someone or being seen as a tyrant. I don’t want to seem overly demanding. I want to be seen as a friendly, reasonable co-worker. But it’s finding the balance in between that gets me. Over time, I am beginning to realize I can’t always be nice or else I will be taken advantage of. I have to be firm too when needed. I have to be able to show staff that I am nice but that I will whip you to shape when you need some butt-slapping (maybe I shouldn’t be saying that…LOL).

Whenever I have this discussion with other people, they always tell me that the people who make the most money and are successful are those who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. They’re confident enough to say “Give me what is fair because I deserve it” and refuse to back down.

Often I see people who have made a lot of money and have become successful to a degree. And they're the ones who have put themselves first before anyone or anything else. I keep wondering to myself, do I need to be difficult and selfish to be successful? Do I need to always put myself first and have the "me first" approach to everything? I hope not. I certainly don't want to be one of those people who are successful but are inconsiderate of others. I still believe in thinking of the good of the many and treating others with respect. I do not believe in stepping over people to get what I want and I certainly am not the scheming type. Sure, I want to be rich and successful... but in a way that is fair. I want my success to be a product of my diligence and hard work and not from cheating or by being pushy.

You know that saying? It's a "Dog Eat Dog world"? Yeah, I wish it weren't true. But sadly, the more I work, the truer it appears to be.

Goodbye Friend.

As I was entering Steve's office, he abruptly stood up, walked over to me and shielded my eyes.

He said, "I have to show you something..."

Immediately I was suspicious. Did he have a surprise waiting for me? Is it something scary? Some new information he knew I would love? Is it going to be something funny? What did he want to show me??

As I slowly walked, he positioned me to face the window, took off his hands and said, "Look... what do you see?"

At first I didn't notice anything. I didn't know what I was looking for, I didn't know what it was that he was trying to show me.

Then it hit me. I saw it.

The company across the street from us was landscaping. They had dug out their front lawn and I could see the various pots and plants on one side, waiting to be planted.

Horrified, I exclaimed, "OH NO! WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BABIES?!" I was referring to the groundhogs that lived somewhere underneath their front lawn. Those adorable, little, furry creatures that I loved to watch frolicking on their lawn most afternoons. The same tiny creature whose photo I once posted here.

I was so upset and I get even more upset everytime I think about it. They were so innocent!

I am so so sad.

To read more about them, go here.

To Travel

I recently purchased a book entitled Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and so far I have read about 50 pages of it. I am aware of how popular it has become but never really got curious enough to buy it. That was until I saw her on Oprah. For some reason, it just caught my attention and it finally convinced me to go ahead and buy that darn book.

Although I haven’t gotten very far in my reading, I have to admit that there is a certain charm to it that piques my curiosity. I admire her for her courage to go after what she wanted… learn a new language, visit the countries she wanted to see and make new friends in places she’s never been to. I sometimes wish I were that adventurous… I think my sense of adventure goes as far as trying a fig (and I didn’t even like it). I wanted to learn French and I actually went as far as buying a self-teaching French kit… you know, those things you buy at your local bookstore that includes a French dictionary and a CD… that kit is still pretty much intact, never been opened and is gathering dust somewhere in my bedroom. I think my youngest brother, Miguel, actually knows more French than I do. At least he knows enough to be able translate some signs on the road.

I think I am reserved to a degree… or just being cautious as I’d like to put it. I’m a worrier by nature so I waste time by thinking of things that may or may not happen. I can talk to strangers but I am quite uncomfortable with it especially if the person I am speaking to is male. I get anxious every time I have to travel for work. I don’t feel comfortable staying at a hotel alone and eating meals in places I’ve never been to. I like staying in my comfort zone where everything is familiar and predictable. For some reason I just feel safer that way.

But yes, I would love to travel. I would love to meet new people and make friends in different places. I would love to learn about other cultures and taste Chinese food in China, Pasta in Italy, sushi in Japan, Gyros and Souvlaki in Greece, Waffles in Belgium and all that. I’d love to be able to go to Europe and experience all its wonderful architecture and history and art. I’d love to be able to visit all those beautiful places I see in books and movies. I would love to be able to speak another language so fluently. I once met a Japanese woman who spoke fluent Greek and I wish I could speak and understand Greek just as well as her instead of staring blankly at people with a confused expression every time they spoke in a language that was so alien to me.

Some people are so lucky to have the money and the means to travel. I sometimes wish I had the money to do that too… where I can just take huge amounts of time off work and go to different places and be able to afford all sorts of things that go with it. I would like to live La Dolce Vita as some would say.

Wouldn’t it be nice?

Bits

My boss is back from her honeymoon and that means that I can hand her back all the tasks I’ve been overseeing on her behalf. In a way I am glad that I don’t have to deal with it anymore but in a way I’m also a bit sad because although it was hectic and frustrating at times, it was good to have had that much responsibility entrusted to me. I was getting used to all that power. Haha!

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My cousin was in town for the long weekend to see us and also to help me with some wedding errands. The car broke down in the process but luckily enough, we were lent another car for the weekend. There were some running around and several hundreds of dollars were spent but I’m glad to report that we were quite productive.

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Nature has been kind to us lately. After my rant about how cold it’s been in the last few weeks, Mother Nature seemed to want to prove me wrong. It’s been very warm during the past few days and I am absolutely enjoying it (of course as soon as I write this, it will all turn to sh*t).

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There’s been a lot of stabbing going on in public transit that every time I have the inkling to fall asleep on the subway, the thought of being stabbed has been keeping me up. Unfortunately, it’s only keeping me up on the way home but I am still very much asleep on the way to work. In fact I am so drowsy that I have practically mastered the art of sleeping while sitting down and without leaning my head on anything. I must look like an idiot to the people around me but I figured I don’t know any of them and they will probably never see me again so what the heck!

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One of the first things we learn in school is how to follow instructions. I am amazed at how many adults never seemed to learn that. Case in point: there is a sign on the door that says to “Use other door” but people still continue to use it anyway. I figured that either some people don’t know how to read or they’re ignoring it on purpose. So management has decided to revise the notice by putting a note on one door that says “DO NOT use this door” and a note on the other that says “Use this door”. If people didn’t follow it the first time, I don’t know why management thought that by revising the notices, people would follow it this time. Maybe they should have just locked one door.