Monday, March 09, 2009

Parting ways

These past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for both Steve and I. A close couple friend of ours has filed for legal separation and the circumstances which led up to it were... to say the least – very unfavourable. As a matter of fact, it was downright shocking and hurtful. When we first heard about it, we honestly didn’t know how to react or what to say. I reacted by first thinking that it must be a joke because we were all together last weekend and everything was fine. Then after realizing that it was really happening, my second reaction was to ask the “whys” and “hows” and “what happened?” and of course the “what do we do?” and “where do we go from here”.

Steve and I were both extremely upset over the news because these are our close friends. They’re the people we practically spend most of our weekends with, the people we thought whose kids would be our kids’ friends and the people we go on vacation with. We’ve had many dinners together, seen movies together, played board games together... and this was the last thing we expected. I wish the separation were amicable because it would make it easier for everyone to just get along. But it doesn’t seem that way right now. In fact, we don’t know if we can still be friends with one party simply because of the reasons behind the separation.

It’s only been days but it’s already turning ugly. Sides are being taken, clothes are being packed, lawyers are involved, and sooner or later someone’s going to have to deal with who gets custody of the dog and who gets what assets. Thinking about all these things, I can’t help but get upset... I feel angry, hurt, shocked and sad... mostly sad.

I’m sad because it couldn’t have happened at a worst time. But then again, there is no good time for something like this. I’m sad because nothing will ever be the same again and we’ll miss all the activities we enjoyed doing together. I’m sad because the plans we had together may not ever happen. I’m sad because I don’t know if their separation will eventually lead to divorce. And I’m sad because of the circumstances that led to the separation and I’m sad because I don’t want to see such a young, lovely couple have to go through something so terrible.

Knowing what I know about what had happened, I honestly can’t say if they should stick together and try to work it out or if it would be best for them to part ways. Right now, I am leaning towards the latter. I am pro working things out but only if both parties are willing to make it work. I don’t know if this is the case. There are some things that harder to accept, forgive and forget.

The last thing you would want to see is your good friends go through a really difficult time. As much as I’d like to mend things so that everything can go back to the way they were, the best that I can do is pray and hope for the best.

2 comments:

Jela said...

That's really sad. My experience with friends' breakups are different; I'm a friend to one of the party and I only got to be friend with the better half because they're together. When they break up, it's easier to take sides. It must be hard to be caught in the middle. :(

The last thing you would want to see is your good friends go through a really difficult time. As much as I’d like to mend things so that everything can go back to the way they were, the best that I can do is pray and hope for the best.

I understand this sentiment. Even if you know how hard it must be for your friends but knowing there's nothing that you can really about it, it's just so frustrating. But I think it would mean so much to them that you care this much.

Hope every thing will turn out ok. :)

k a r e n said...

Thanks Jela!

I know, it really is sad and disappointing.