Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Lack of Vertical Inches.
I’m actually quite ok with the way I am. Yes, I do wish I was taller or well-toned and that my teeth, hair and skin were perfect but for the most part, I’m happy the way I am. I may not be perfect but who is? And I was made this way and it is what it is and I’m really thankful that I am otherwise healthy.
I just have to keep in mind that there will always be people who have more and people who have less than I. Sure, I complain about my height but you know what? There are a lot of women who are much shorter than me and it doesn’t seem to bother them so why should it bother me? When you really think about it, our physical aspects are really relative. I’m tall compared to one person and short compared to another. So really, I am both short and tall.
Maybe I’ll wear heels less and comfortable flats more.
Pining For Summer
It’s kinda weird looking at pictures of others in the sun and the beach and wearing bikinis when it’s winter here in Canada. The cold is so much more obvious. In the mornings when I open my closet to get dressed for work, I always look at my summer clothes and I feel depressed not being able to wear them. It would have been nice to wear a light pair of jeans, a skirt or Capri together with flip flops or sandals or ballet flats and to wear only a single layer of clothing. I like being able to wear sweaters and coats and fancy boots and all that too…but I think I’ve had enough of this season and I really would rather go back to the warm, sunny days… AANNNDD I would really love to go the beach.
It would be nice to take a walk outside, go swimming or maybe go to Wonderland. I’d also love to go on vacation and go somewhere…money, money, money! Tsk tsk.
So yeah.. I’m basically bummed out that summer is so far away and I’m really anxious.
As I write this post, I had a passing thought… where do cows go during the winter? Or insects and tiny creatures for that matter?
-----sabi ni Steve sa barn daw.. oo nga naman.. bakit di ko naisip yun? Pero paano yung mga insects and other little creatures that live in the wild?
Oldies Never Get Old.
I don’t know exactly how many songs there were in total but I transferred almost all of them on my iPod and I am now happily listening to them. Most of them were oldies (70s, 80s, 90s music) which I liked before and have totally forgotten about so I was happy that he gave me a copy. Do you notice that oldies music in essence never really gets old (the irony…lol)? I mean, do you ever get tired of James Ingram or Frank Sinatra or The Beatles or even Rod Stewart? Sure they’re old and these were songs my parents listened to but no matter how much time passes and new songs and artists come out, whenever I hear an oldie song, I can’t help but listen to the whole thing. It’s always good. My parents are right… the classics will always stay. When Linkin Park or Britney Spears or what-have-you have come and gone, you will still find yourself listening to the songs of the 70s, 80s, and 90s and will love them just as much.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Come & Follow Me.
Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?
Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?
Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?
Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?
Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.
I love this song because of its message. Indeed it is difficult to leave oneself behind and trust God with everything. How often we forget that God created us to know, love and serve Him and share in His eternal glory and happiness. We get so distracted by the comforts that this world has to offer and we lose sight of why we are here in the first place.
The Gospel today was when Jesus called His disciples and it says that they immediately dropped what they were doing and followed Him. I always wonder what that exactly means... I wonder because "immediately dropping what they were doing" is not an easy thing to do. Imagine yourself going about your business, commuting to work or whatever and Jesus sees you and asks you to drop everything and follow Him. Mind you that you do not yet know (or maybe you do) Him and yet you are being asked to abandon what you are doing and just go. What would you do? Would you pick up your cellphone and make a few calls, arrange everything and then follow? Would you think that the man talking to you is crazy and ignore him?
I think most of us, if asked right now in this age and time, would hesitate and a million things would be running in our heads. Most would agree with me when I say we'd all probably hesitate because it's not an easy thing to do especially when you have to make a living and raise a family and pay bills and what-have-you and here's a guy like any other guy who in your eyes is a complete stranger asking you to do what is not "reasonable" in your mind. Ang hirap noh?
The call to serve God in our daily lives is not heard by many and it's not like the Bible times where they heard God's voice, saw and spoke to Jesus or saw visions in dreams. Nowadays, we have to pray and try to see the message hidden in our lives and the people we meet and the chances that come our way and try to determine what God is telling us and asking us to do which is not easy. It takes a lot of faith and determination to even figure things out.
When things don't go my way, I always wonder if God is trying to tell me something. I get discouraged and I doubt at times but at the end of the day I know He loves me and knows what is best even if I don't understand it at the moment. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and do your best and let God do the rest. Pa-minsan minsan you just have to say to yourself, "Bahala na si Lord..."
Napaisip ako.
I can try to describe what it feels like to be there but it is different when you experience it for yourself. Meet the people, see the sites, taste the food... it's a totally different environment that is both heartwarming and beautiful.
Minsan naisip ko, do the Filipinos that had a chance to grow up in the Philippines have a higher appreciation for it compared to those that didn't? I'm not entirely sure... minsan naisip ko oo pero minsan naman naisip ko hindi rin. Depende siguro kung paano lumaki yung tao. I mean those that grew up learning to appreciate what it is like to be Filipino and it's heritage would (I assume) most likely yearn to see and visit the place they or their parents or their parent's parents call home.
I was born and raised there and I had the opportunity to know what it is like to grow up playing in the street with the neighbors, taking the "school bus" to school, walking to church on Sunday mornings with the family, caroling and pamasko on Christmas and fireworks on New Year's eve...noche buena, simbang gabi.. and just being there and living and taking it all in... pure Filipino culture..the good and the bad.
Sometimes I think to myself, kung ako kaya di lumaki sa Pinas, would I still want to go? Palagay ko naman oo kasi of course I would like to see where my parents came from and just see the country itself. Pero would I necessarily be as attached to it as I am now? Ewan... I mean, I miss the place and it's the people I left behind who I miss the most and who give me more reason to go and visit. So if I didn't grow up there and didn't have friends there and never experienced any of the experiences I've had, gustuhin ko pa kaya siya as much as I feel now?
Aannnnyyywaaayy, I'm just really happy for Christine and just a tad bit jealous... o sige na, talagang naiinggit ako!
Friday, January 25, 2008
A Quick Trip
This is pretty much the only word that has been buzzing in my head for the past week like a pesky bug that is just asking to be squashed.
I WOULD love to squash it if I could… Yeah… it would be really nice to lie in bed in the mornings and sleep for more than 10 hours and think nothing of the conscious world.
The Calgary Trip I was hoping wouldn’t go through actually did go through and although I am glad that it’s done and over with, I am left quite tired and still faced with a ton of work. I flew out Monday night and it took about 3 and half hours to get to Calgary. There were extra seats in the plane so I got to choose a window seat “with a view” (it basically means I’m not sitting by the plane’s wings). Before boarding, I passed by a bookstore and bought Paolo Coehlo’s The Devil and Ms. Prim and spent almost the entire flight reading and napping.
The hotel I stayed in wasn’t bad and I was releived to find Moxie’s by the lobby which made it convenient for me to have dinner. Since I arrived late, I only had time to eat dinner, watch a bit of TV and then I went to sleep.
The following morning, I took a bath and packed all my stuff again since I was leaving for Toronto again that same day. The client I was visiting was located about 2-3 blocks west of the hotel I was staying in so I decided to just walk, pulling my luggage and laptop with me only to find out later that day that the subway downtown is free and I could have just taken it. The training session went well and I made it to the airport later that afternoon in time for my flight back.
Because the trip was so short, it felt like going to work in another city several miles away and then coming home again via a plane instead of a bus. It was very tiring and although it has been a few days since the trip, I still haven’t been able to catch up on sleep.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
10 Random FYIs
- I love the sound of my keyboard when I type. I have always loved the sound of fingers tapping keys since I was... oh about 5 years old. But for some reason, I don't like the sound of it when it's coming from someone else's tapping.
- I hate the smell of weed (no offense to those that love it). There's just something about it that makes me feel queesy.
- I hate flying but I love it when the plane is taking off and when it's landing. I always get that anxious/exciting feeling I've always had since the first time I stepped on a plane.
- My dad tells us he used to love this cologne that smelled like freshly-cut grass... and I always found that quite puzzling because it doesn't smell that awesome to me.
- I often wonder where animals and insects go during the winter and how they survive the frigid cold.
- I always have the urge to sleep when I'm on the subway.
- Whenever I think of my childhood friend, the first picture that comes into mind is that time we were sitting in front of my house, talking and looking at the sky and him smiling at me... it's one of the best smiles in the world.
- Sometimes I put my earphones on just so other people don't talk to me while I'm commuting to work.
- I always used to ask my mom to tuck me in bed all the way till my late teens. I love it when she puts my blanket over me and leans down to give me a kiss.
- When I am really upset, I swear in my head.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Tweakin'
I have been looking at some free CSS templates but haven't quite figured yet how to make them work with the XML format of the new blogger. It takes time to play around and see what I can do with it and right now, I just don't have the time. I have seen a few interesting ones but again, I just don't have time to dedicate to it right now.
In the meantime, maybe I'll make some minor tweaks to my current layout and see how it goes... =p
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Yes, we flock our malls
I already knew that malls in the Philippines were HUGE but I didn't know they were so big that 3 of them would make it on the list!
- South China Mall - Dongguan, China - 7.1 million square feet
- Golden Resources Shopping Mall - Beijing, China - 6 million square feet
- Mall of Asia - Pasay City, Philippines - 4.2 million square feet
- West Edmonton Mall - Edmonton, Alberta, Canada - 3.8 million square feet
- SM Megamall - Mandaluyong City, Philippines - 3.6 million square feet
- Berjaya Times Square - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - 3.4 million square feet
- Beijing Mall - Beijing, China - 3.4 million square feet
- Zhegjian Plaza - Guangzhou, China - 3 million square feet
- SM City North EDSA - Quezon City, Philippines - 3 million square feet
- King of Prussia Mall - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA - 2.8 million square feet
Filipinos love malls simply because they have everything - restaurants, supermarkets, computer shops, clothing stores, shoe stores, bowling alleys, pool tables, skating rinks, arcades, cinemas, sometimes even medical and dental clinics, cellphone stores and repair shops, game and specialty stores, toy stores, pet shops, photo studios, bookstores, music stores, optical shops, dermatology clinics, hardware, small amusement parks for kids, flea markets... you name it, they have it. Not to mention that on Sundays, some malls even hold Catholic masses for the people!
These malls also make it convenient for people to go there because they're everywhere, they provide lots of parking spaces (but even so, sometimes it's not enough due to the amount of people that go), they provide free AC on really warm, humid days and because they have almost anything you need, you can't go wrong. It's a good place for people to hang out because there's always plenty to do... you can go bowling or play pool, hang out by the arcade, see a movie, play a game at the Internet cafe or just chill with friends at coffee shops.
The first time I stepped in a mall here in Canada, I was a bit disappointed because it's way smaller than the average mall in the Philippines. Plus, they're normally mostly clothing and shoe stores. And the size of the food courts are about a fourth of the food courts in SM Malls. Here, you don't go to the mall to simply hang out... you go because you need something. There really isn't much to do in the mall except to shop or window shop or eat. Even though some malls have theatres, most of them don't so you have to go somewhere else to see a movie.
I always tell Steve how surprised he'll be when he steps in one of the malls in the Philippines. I can just imagine how he'll react when he sees SM Megamall where it's about 5-6 floors high (including the basement) and about 2-3 times the length of the Eaton Centre downtown. It also surprises him that Malls in the Philippines also carry some North American stores like Gucci, Prada, Zara, Mango, Marks & Spencer, Guess, Levis, etc... and that we also have Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Subway...
Here are some pictures of SM Megamall (grabbed from the gallery in Wikipedia):
Pictures of Mall of Asia:
I've never been to SM Mall of Asia because when we left the Philippines almost 4 years ago, it was still being constructed and we haven't been back to visit yet. Steve kept insisting that no mall in the Philippines could be bigger than the West Edmonton Mall in Alberta... I just proved him wrong!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Awful.
They WERE in fact VERY DIFFICULT not to mention quite ANNOYING that I had to bite my tongue several times just so I could save myself from uttering something rude. One of the trainees owns her company and she was the most difficult and frustrating of all of them. I had to constantly tell her “Left click on the plus sign” where she would proceed to do something else entirely different and then me having to tell her again, “No, left click on the plus sign” and on and on and on went like this until it came to a point where I was practically standing beside her the entire day, training and pointing things to her at the same time. I understand she’s not quick on technology and she had actually told me to, “Oh don’t mind me…I’m not going to use it much… worry about them… just go on…” and when I do proceed, she’ll suddenly say, “Oh hold on… I don’t get it… where am I? How did you get there? What am I supposed to be doing?...” It drove me nuts!! And she kept saying, “you can continue…” and when I do continue she’ll interrupt me again! What got me ticked off was that she suddenly blurted out, “You can just move on at a much faster pace… don’t mind me” And I had to try REAL HARD to stop myself from saying, “Well, if you just shut up then maybe I can actually talk and move on!” Kill me.
I seriously, seriously considered hanging myself.
Just Typing Away...
Do you ever wonder if there is really life elsewhere in the Universe? My mom thinks there’s probably some other life form out there. By life form, she doesn’t necessarily mean another human being but that it’s a “living thing” like a living particle or amoeba or what have you. Is it possible? Maybe. I just think that God wouldn’t have created such a big Universe for nothing. Maybe there are living things out there or maybe not. It’s just so darn big to just be space and rock and dust. Although maybe, God gave us such a big Universe so we have lots to explore and learn about. Much like a kid in the playground. The bigger, more active kids will want a bigger, wider playground instead of just a tiny little playpen.
Isn’t it so bizarre when you try to imagine what it means to have no beginning and no end? Well, no end is much easier to imagine because you just sorta think of forever... but no beginning?! I find it so difficult to fully comprehend exactly what no beginning means. Ya, sure I know what no beginning means but when you really, really think about it, isn’t it so...so...difficult to imagine? Maybe I’m just being weird and over-analyzing things.
Yeah, so I can’t really sleep and now I’m posting nonsense...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Rambling
Yeah... that NEVER happens. I always end up staying late everytime and then kicking myself in the butt the following morning... it’s a horrible cycle. I am always so groggy in the mornings and I always feel tired.
I realize I complain about work a lot. More so lately since I’ve been feeling increasingly stressed and worn out. I wake up thinking about work, I go to work and stress about it all day, I write about work, I talk to everyone about work and at the end of the day when I’m about to go to bed, I am still thinking about it! People always tell me I care too much and that I should learn to just relax and let things slip once in a while. How the hell do I do that?! Is there a class on how not to care too much about your job like “Screw –It-I’m-Here-For-The-Money-And-That’s-It 101” that everyone else seemed to have attended? If there was one and I missed it, I would like to know where the hell I was because I sure needed it!
There’s a popular saying that goes, “Before you enter the house, make sure you leave your work at the door..” I used to think this was easy to do but now... well... I’m not so sure. It’s darn hard to not think about it especially since most of our time revolves around our jobs. It’s something we like to take pride in doing well and it’s what allows us to buy the things we need. Of course it is only rational that I’d care.
Sometimes I think to myself whether I still like what I’m doing or if it’s becoming detrimental to me. As much as I like most aspects of my job, I can’t help but feel like I ought to be doing something else. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on some career opportunity. Then there are times when I think that maybe I’m in the wrong field altogether... and that’s when I start freaking out a bit. It’s really bizarre sometimes.
I think that maybe it’s just a matter of growing... maybe with time, I’ll eventually learn to ease up a bit when it comes to my professional life.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Juno
Last night, Steve and I stayed behind at work to help the others run a few tests on one of our databases. Luckily enough, we didn’t have to stay the whole night and only ended up staying for an hour and a half. After leaving the office, we decided to go to Yorkdale to have dinner and see a movie. We didn’t really have a specific movie in mind and neither did we check the movie schedules before going there but we thought we’d just go and check the movie listing when we got there.
I had wanted to see Atonement since it came out but it’s not Steve’s idea of a good movie to see in the theaters (he doesn’t like period pieces and really sappy love stories… too bad for him because I just happen to love them! LOL) plus it wasn’t showing at Yorkdale so it was either National Treasure or Juno. We decided on Juno so we’d have enough time to grab a bite before the movie.
I loved Juno. I thought it was a really good movie. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it yet and have plans on going. I’m sure most of you know it touches on teen pregnancy but yeah.. it’s an interesting movie and I especially love the lines.. quite witty. I would highly recommend it.
Some good lines from the movie:
Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.
Juno MacGuff: If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks, probably like a sea monkey right now, and I should let it get a little cuter.
Juno MacGuff: I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.
Leah: You should look in the PennySaver.
Juno MacGuff: They have ads for parents?
Leah: Yeah! 'Desperately Seeking Spawn.'
Juno MacGuff: It all started with a chair.
Juno MacGuff: Can't we just like kick this old school. You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?
Mark Loring: Technically that would be Old Testament.
Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.
Paulie Bleeker: Shut up.
Juno MacGuff: Can two people stay together forever?
Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
Juno: Yeah, like people in love.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy troubles? 'Cause I got to be honest, I don't much approve of you dating in your condition. That's kinda messed up! That's pretty skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it? Shanky? Skeevy? Tore up from the floor up?
Juno MacGuff: Bleeker is actually good in... chair.
Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Bwiset.
The problem with helping people out is that
Pardon for me for ranting… I
Monday, January 07, 2008
Busy bee.
Funny enough, I don’t travel anywhere else for work. It’s only been clients in the GTA and the Calgary trips. I was telling my co-workers how it’s ironic that I keep coming back to one place and one place alone when I want to travel to BC and I never get a client that requires me to go there. Go figure.
A big part me just wishes it doesn’t even go through. I would hate having to go to Calgary in the middle of winter because it gets so very cold there and it would be such a hassle having to travel, carry my luggage, a laptop, and a winter coat, and then go through airport security and all that. And it would be really awful if the city gets hit by a snow storm while I’m there.
It hasn’t been confirmed yet and in the meantime, I am wading through work, frantically trying to get everything done while emails pour in faster than I can say “I quit”.
I make it a point to listen to a bit of music, chat a little and post in between so I can keep my sanity.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Poem on the Train.
Your anvil is the Earth, and with your right arm
You span the arc of Heaven like the sun.
Eight decades on this scaffolding - a lifetime -
I sought a sign of you, but there was none.
Under my chisel marble fell to stonedust,
But only torsos, idols would be born.
I found you not, elusive, radiant sunburnst,
Who glowed there pulsing under every stone.
I have myself become an ancient stone block,
Split by vines, a still, curmudgeonly old rock,
But in my sould the old flame yet burns on.
How can I shed this flesh that holds me prisoner?
Strike me, if you can love a hoary sinner,
Divine Sculptor, my God, I am the stone.Michaelangelo's Last Prayer- George Faludy
First-time Skater
I finally went SKATING!!
Since it wasn't too cold last Friday night, Steve decided to take me skating. He knows I've never been and I've been dying to go for a really long time now so after work, he suggested that we head home, grab our skates and go downtown for dinner. I didn't own a pair of skates so his sister let me borrow hers instead (there's only about an inch or so difference between our foot size).
Nathan Phillips Square, downtown, has a rink that's free and open to the public. They have skate rentals too for those that down have one. We decided to have dinner at the Korean BBQ Grill nearby which is a really cool place to eat because you get an all-you-can-eat dinner for less than $15, the food is great and you get to cook it yourself. It was packed by the time we got there but since it was near the rink and we really didn't feel like going some place else (not to mention that we already paid for parking) we decided to wait for a table.
After dinner, we walked to the rink and Steve helped me put on my skates (those things are heavy!) and he made sure they were tight but comfortable enough to move with. After helping me with mine and putting his on, it was time to get on the ice. He went in first and told me to wait until he got a feel for it (he hasn't been skating for quite sometime so he wanted to make sure he was comfortable enough to help me). He made a lap around the rink, came back for me and slowly helped me get on the rink. I have to tell you, watching other people skate seemed easy but as soon as I stepped on the rink, I yelped and grabbed Steve for support. It was so darn slippery that I was scared to even move a little.
He kept telling me that it was ok, he wasn't going to let me fall and that we should take baby steps towards the center of the rink. It was HARD! I almost fell so MANY times and each time one of my legs slipped from under me, I'd scream and grab him. We were laughing so hard and I told him I felt a little embarrassed because everyone else seemed to know how to skate and I was the only one in the center, yelping with arms flailing. I asked him if we could move to the sides of the rink where it wasn't so obvious that I was a beginner. He looked at me and said, "Honey, beginners always skate in the middle so we don't get in the way of those people going around the rink and moving really fast..." I looked around and said, "I really hate all the people in this rink right now who make it seem so easy!"
Steve said that with enough practice, I will eventually get the hang of it and that I was doing really well for a first-time skater (maybe knowing how to roller blade helped noh?). Towards the end of the evening, I was much better although I still cannot let go of his arm. I had fallen twice on my bum and after the second fall, we called it a night. My arms were sore and I was sure I had a huge bruise forming at the part that hit the ice.
We were skating for an entire hour and although it was a bit painful, I had so much fun. Steve asked me whether I would want to go again... Of course I would!
Here are some pictures Steve and I took with my phone camera but the lighting wasn't very good so the pictures came out a little blurred.
Friday, January 04, 2008
The struggle
I actually slept a lot during the holidays… going to bed late and getting up later the following day so having to wake up early for work has become quite a challenge again. Since coming back to work a couple of days ago, I find myself tired but unable to fall asleep and end up staying past midnight and then struggling to get my bum out of bed by morning. Ugh.
Speaking of work and being extremely busy, I noticed that my patience is not quite as much as it normally is. One of our techs has been popping in and out of my office, asking questions and I find myself always waving a hand while silently mouthing “sorry, just on a call… be with you in a bit…” and when I finally am able to talk to him, I am always rushing and a little irritable and I realize that to him, I must seem rude. I don’t mean to be rude… I just don’t have time to dilly dally. He’s a bit new to the company and I know he needs help every now and then until he gets the hang of it. I remember being new to the company once upon a time too and how confusing everything is at the beginning and I remember all those times I, myself, asked my boss for help.
I am feeling a little overwhelmed especially since we have lot on the go, we don’t have another trainer, and we lack tech support reps and this puts an awful lot more on my plate. I struggle a little to keep up with the things I need to do and I’m trying my best to remember everything on my list of tasks. I hope I don’t miss anything important or let something fall through the cracks.
I am thankful for the holiday break that we were able to enjoy… I just kinda wish I didn’t have to deal with so much work when we got back. Yeesh.