Thursday, August 30, 2007

Vent.

Eto…vent muna ako kasi pagod.

I left work at about 7 pm last night because I had to train a client. I started training at 9:30 am… yup, it was that long! We didn’t even take a lot of breaks and to be honest the only real break we had was the one-hour lunch we took at noon. I was so tired by the end of the day that I could barely stand at the bus stop.

Naiinis ako… I am so swamped with work and exhausted from training that looking at my work calendar and my list of follow up items always depresses me. Isa pa, I think I will have to fly to Calgary and stay there for 4 days for business during the week of my b-day. Kainis talaga. I’m sure most people love traveling for work. I’m one of those few people that don’t like it. I don’t like it because it’s too much of a hassle for me. They always book my flight the same day that I have to train so I’m always rushing and I’m always too tired at the end of the day to actually have the chance to go around town. Mag-isa pa ako. At least other people get to travel in groups and do things together.

What’s more, the client isn’t pleased with our product but the President wants to send me so that I could “turn things around” so to speak. How could I possibly convince them when the product itself just doesn’t work for them?! Am I expected to make miracles? I feel like a tiny rabbit being sent to a pack of wolves and they’re expecting me to hop around without getting eaten. Great.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Little Ones.

If there is one thing you must know about me is the fact that I love listening to parents. I love hearing about what it is like to be a parent – the joys and pains of it all and what it feels like to raise a child. Since I was young, I have always imagined kids in my life one day. I know for a fact that I would definitely want little ones of my own.

Being the eldest of three children, I gave my parents a lot of “firsts” and I love hearing about their pleasant surprises and not-so-pleasant surprises when they had me and when my brothers and I were growing up. My brothers and I are blessed to have such good parents who are never shy to tell us how they feel or felt at times and what makes them happy, their hopes and dreams for us and who never fail to show us how much they love us. Occasionally, during dinner, my parents would tell us about the little things they remember the most about us growing up.

My mom endured 14 hours of labor when she had me and that I refused to come out so the doctors had to use forceps. Meanwhile, my dad was outside in the waiting room and refusing to eat or do anything but wait. My dad always tells me how anxious, excited and worried he was all at the same time because he had no idea what was going on in the delivery room. Both my parents would tell us that seeing and holding us for the first time gave them a feeling beyond words. Sometimes I try to imagine what I would feel like when I meet my child for the first time… but truth be told, I can’t imagine what it must feel like. I guess it’s one of those things you just have to experience on your own to know.

Sometimes I worry. I worry that I might be incapable of having kids. I worry that I won’t raise them right… that I won’t know what to do.

I love listening to parents talk about their kids and I like reading about it on blogs too. There’s just something magical and truly touching when a parent talks about his/her child. They glow… and it shows just how proud they are and how much their kids mean to them. My mom once told me that there is nothing like a parent’s love for a child. Both mom and dad tell me that having a kid changes your life forever. That it changes you.

I can’t wait.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Dying for a bite.

I am craving for…

  • Tokyo-tokyo
  • A Brothers’ Burgers combo
  • Squid Balls from Odd Balls
  • Siomai and mami from Henlin
  • Halo-halo
  • Leche Flan
  • Jollibee & Chowking
  • Sisig
  • Jamaican Patties
  • Avocado shake from the Big Chill
  • Ice Monster
  • Indian Mangoes

I’m so hungry! There’s so many that I miss eating simply because they don’t have it here in Canada. Sometimes I daydream of going to the Philippines and just going for a massive food trip. I think if I ever went back for a vacation, I’d gain a lot of weight. Guaranteed!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I've been Tagged.

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules.

At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!
  1. I only drink coffee in the morning, only a cup (which I difficult to finish) and only when I’m at work.
  2. I am an impulsive buyer.
  3. I tend to remember most things I hear.
  4. It takes a lot to get on my bad side but once you’re there, there’s no going back.
  5. Sometimes I get scared at night so I leave my lights on all the way until morning and when my brothers or parents ask me why I left it on, I tell them I forgot to turn it off and fell asleep.
  6. When I leave the house late in the morning, it’s mostly because I couldn’t decide on what to wear.
  7. I probably only own about 2 pieces of clothing that’s purple.

I'm tagging: Bom, Kaye, Marieseda, Arlene, Steve, Suzy and Frank

Friday, August 17, 2007

Road Kill (almost!)

The other day, I was in the car with Steve and all of a sudden he stops and tells me there are raccoons crossing. And then I saw two little, furry creatures run across the road in front of the car. They were running so fast, I could barely make out what they were. If Steve hadn’t told me they were raccoons, I would have thought they were squirrels. So there we were watching and Steve says, “Look there’s another one on the side” and I turn to see a third raccoon hesitating by the side of the road and then it suddenly crossed. But there was an on-coming car and both Steve and I watched in horror as it ran across the road with the car running towards it. I was so sure it was going to get hit and with my voice raised, I kept saying, “Oh no! It’s going to get hit! Do something!”

Thank God the little thing didn’t get hit. It barely missed it though…

I think they were young raccoons because they were still small. I would have been devastated if it had gotten hit. And right in front me too.

News Blues.

If there’s one thing you probably don’t know about me (or maybe you do) is that I don’t follow the news as much as I ought to. When I was younger, I didn’t like reading the newspaper because the paper itself and all that ink (or whatever it was on it) always made my hands dirty and I didn’t always have a sink and soap handy to wash my hands with.

Putting shallowness aside, one of the primary reasons I don’t like following the news so much is that it always depresses me in one way or another. It’s almost feels like a constant reminder that the world is screwed up, that there are people out there that are completely messed up and that the people we trust to make things better end up making a bigger mess of things.

Doesn’t it make you sad to hear that thousands of lives are lost everyday because of war, poverty, crimes, etc? Such innocent people who are just trying to live decent lives become prey to such horrible circumstances that could have been prevented.

Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way? Maybe the news not only tells us what happens around us…but maybe it’s also a call for change?

New Design (yikes!)

Darn. I just bumped into another person’s blog and it looks soooo nice. Now I want a new theme too. Yargh!

I don’t know what it is… I can’t seem to stick with one design. I keep getting bored and looking for bigger and better things to do with my page. It’s sick, I tell you, because it takes a LOT of time to make changes to a page and make it look and work exactly the way I want it too. This strong desire for change keeps me awake late at night working on my page and gives me headaches in turn. It makes it even more difficult when there’s a limited number of resources and the fact that I can be pretty picky.

I should probably just invest some time in creating my own designs. Maybe I could extra money that way?

Use deo for crying out loud.

We live in the 21st century. You would think people would atleast realize this fact and how far the human race has gone. Yet, it surprises me that some people don’t seem to know deodorant exists.

I don’t mean to be prissy but try sitting in the bus for a long time beside someone who seems to be oblivious to the fact that he/she isn’t so “fresh” anymore. In fact, he/she is so far from it.

If you really are so used to your “scent” and really might be oblivious, wouldn’t it be safe to just put deo on anyway just in case?

Season Finale

Last night was the finale of So You Think You Can Dance. I got home a little late and missed the first 30-40 minutes of the show. I regret not being able to watch the whole thing and I was hoping there would be a re-run of it somewhere. Of course I didn’t help that the TV’s broken and the picture was fuzzy but I was happy nonetheless to have seen it (even if I could barely make out the people’s faces). I was really pleased that the choreographers picked out their favorite dances and the contestants performed them again. I also loved the fact that they highlighted some of the best moments and even showed some of the auditions that stood out. If only I taped all of them… then I could just play it over and over.

In a way I am a bit sad that the season’s over. It’s the one show that had no over-the-roof drama. It was pure fun to watch and because I love dancing, it was really entertaining. I’m not particularly good at dancing so I have such great admiration for the contestants who truly have talent. I loved seeing all the different choreography and the different styles of dancing and I loved all those wow moves that just left you with your mouth wide open (remember that move with Sabra wrapped around Neil and she falls down? Even the judges were in awe!)

One thing’s for sure, I’ll miss it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Change.

The one thing that is constant in this life is change and yet it is the one thing that I find most difficult to cope with.

I don’t know why but everytime a change occurs, I get a little anxious. I like being in my “comfort zone”. I like the comfort of habit and the predictability of it all. I like knowing that if I do this and this and this, I will get what I want. I can’t but have expectations based on the things I do. Sometimes, change gets me excited and I actually look forward to it. But then most of the time, it just plain worries me. Most especially if that change has something to do with my personal life. I don’t like not knowing if the change will be positive or negative and I certainly don’t want it to be something that will cause me pain.

But if there’s one thing I learned growing up is that life doesn’t always turn out as planned and it almost never goes that way you expect it to go. Sure we can make plans, dream and hope for the best but we also have to be flexible enough to bend with the unexpected. It’s not always easy to be flexible especially if you’ve already invested so much in your plans. But what can one do, right?

Whatever we do, there will always be factors that are just out of our control and the best we can do is to try and make the most out of the situation and just trust in the knowledge that when God closes a door, he opens a window. And hope, hope with all our might, that we’ll be able to appreciate all of it in the end.

Work woes.

I am completely exhausted. The entire tech team has quit, save for one and several of us in other departments have been absorbing the work overflow. My calendar is fully booked with training sessions and I find myself spending more than half my day catching up on my emails and taking support calls. On top of it all, I have to do QA and implement clients which I am struggling to find time to do.

This is the disadvantage of working for such a small company. Everyone tends to do a bit of everything and when someone leaves, everyone else absorbs the work until a new person is hired to do the job. The sad fact is, we’re not even generating as much revenue as we hope so asking for a raise at this point is pretty pointless.

There are days when I feel like resigning but then there are days when it’s all good. But for praticality’s sake, I should look for a new job.

Rest in pieces.

Steve was playing this song on his PC the other day and I loved it...

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine
You look so beautiful tonight
Reminds me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
(let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
(let me rest in pieces)
Pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
(let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
(let me rest in pieces)

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
and let me rest in pieces

would you find it in your heart
to make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
(and let me rest in peices)
would you find it in your heart
and let me rest in pieces

would you find it in your heart
would you let me rest in pieces

would you find it in your heart
would you let me rest in pieces

would you find it in your heart
would you let me rest in pieces

Rest In Pieces
- Saliva

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Things that made me smile today.



Steve saved lunch for me and later he made me dinner.

My new Abercrombie & Fitch shirt which fits me perfectly.

A loving brother who always asks me about my day whenever I come home.

Freshly laundered clothes sitting on top of my bed.

It's Friday.

Thinking of wearing my new dress.

Manicured nails.

A good hair day.

Received a really sweet compliment.

Realizing that I have such great friends.

Limits.

For the first time in 2 weeks, I felt cold sitting outside of Second Cup.

I am feeling down again and I don't know if it's because I am tired from work or if it is because I feel overwhelmed with everything that is going on around me. I try not to dwell on things but I am a natural at worrying and this has always caused me unnecessary anxiety. I keep having to tell myself that crap happens and I just have to go with the flow but I always find it difficult to let things slide and just take it as it comes.

I've always been one to stay within my comfort zone and anything that puts me outside of that zone worries me. But there must be some sort of conspiracy because I keep finding myself being pushed to go beyond the lines I have set for myself. Steve actually brought up an interesting thought today. He said that maybe I create too many boundaries for myself by being too careful. God might be telling me something here and I'm missing it somehow.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Annoyed.



I’m already exhausted and it’s barely 11 in the morning.

I’ve heard my name thrown around in the tech department, reception and on the phones. I can’t believe all the different things that popped up all at once. As much as I like my name, I don’t like hearing it so many times in one morning especially when you’re a pesky co-worker asking the same questions every single time when I’ve already given you everything you need in your email and all you have to do is read. And you can’t even do that properly. I know I sound mean… but I can’t help but feel annoyed when I’m already spoon-feeding you and you still need me to hold your hand every time.

I swear sometimes I feel the urge to just run out of the office and never come back.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

My life as a telemarketer.

It suddenly occurred to me that I’ve never written about my days as a telemarketer. Being new to Canada in ’04 and adjusting to everything, I had spent my first three months going places like Ottawa and Niagara Falls and exploring downtown Toronto. After three months of frolicking, I decided it was about time I started looking for work. I was a fresh grad – I graduated in March ’04 and arrived in Canada in August.

To be honest, I felt lost not knowing what the industry is like in Canada. Back home, I had a pretty good idea of what I needed and where to begin. I decided to get a career counsellor’s opinion. He had advised that I apply for a job that would give me the necessary skills that would help me get to where I want to go (confusing ba?). And so he said that maybe it would be best if I applied for a job that would give me strong customer service skills since having good customer service skills would open a lot of doors for me. So I decided to apply for a position in a call center. I applied to one where I saw potential to move to either the tech or QA department (me being in I.T.).

I sent my resume, got a call shortly for an interview, went in and was offered the job the same day. It all happened pretty fast if you ask me – one minute I was home and jobless and the next minute I was making my way to work. The rules of that call center were quite simple: you begin on the floor (no, it doesn’t mean janitor… silly! It means man the phones) and then work your way up until you get to a position/department you want to be in. Simple in thought, difficult in reality. It was a telemarketing call center after all.

I hated it. I was ready to resign within the first three months. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of moving up somewhere. Although I dreaded work every single day, I wanted to get something out of the awful experience so I stuck to it for almost a year until I was able to get into QA. Once there, I had decided that I’ve ha enough experience to move on and began looking for another job. Soon after, I was able to land my current job.

Although it was a job I hated very much, I have to admit I learned a lot doing it.

I learned…

>> To always try to be polite with telemarketers on the phone although they are extremely annoying.

>> Remember that the person on the other end of the line is only doing his/her job and probably hates it too.

>> I was once on the other end of the line (although I was much nicer…haha)

>> There is no need to swear or yell or be rude on the phone.

>> I can always have my name taken of the call list if I don’t want them to keep calling (by law, they are required to take your name of a call list if you ask them).

>>
Hardwork and patience do pay off.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A Bit of Bio

Nicked from Violet.

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Greek with Feta, Caesar or Thousand Island.

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Brothers Burgers comes to mind right now

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Gee, so many to choose from! Because I'm craving, I'd say Tokyo-Tokyo for now.

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. We normally tip depending on the service we get.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Indian Mangoes

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Mushrooms, Green peppers, onions, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, ground beef

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Butter or Cream Cheese (most of the time)

Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Mint - I always carry a pack of Excel Polar Ice with me

TECHNOLOGY

Q. what is your IQ?
A. Currently.... no idea. IQ is based on your age so I wouldn't know what level I'm in right now.

Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. Safe to say it's over a hundred

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. A picture of Venice

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Three - one in the living room, one in my bedroom and one in my parents' room but in reality only the TV in the living room is hooked.

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right-handed.

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. No idea...

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Nope

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. sheesh.... touch, I think

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Have I ever had one? If I did, a long, long time ago

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Probably Steve's duffel bag that was full of clothes.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Nah!

BULL[CRAP]OLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. No, I don't think so

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yes.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. I'd retain my name... athough I've always liked the name Nicole... it wouldn't suit me though.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue or Yellow

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. I’m pretty sure I have in the past but I can't remember what it is

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. Not that I know of

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. In a way - yes

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. If it were completely deserted then maybe I'd consider it

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. In the cheek? Yes.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Heck no

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Maybe....it would be difficult though.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Tough... but no

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. Not worth it.... I'd die if I tried

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. No.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. I think I can do it.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Nothing

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: I haven't even seen it!

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Hardwood

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Yes

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: at least 5

Q: Where were you born?
A. Philippines

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Never

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Content and happy

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Steve

Q: Last person who called you?
A: Mom

Q: Person you hugged?
A: Steve

Q: Person you kissed?
A: Steve

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 7

Q: Colour?
A: Blue, White.... pastel colors

Q: Season?
A: Summer

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Always

Q: Mood?
A: A bit tired

Q: Listening to?
A: The sound of my keyboard as I type

Q: Watching?
A: My monitor as I type away

Q: Worrying about?
A: work

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: the bus stop

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Go on vacation

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: The Zodiac on DVD; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on cinema

Q: Do you smile often?
A: Yes.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: For the most part, yes.

Unpacking and the Sims

I'm back home after a few days of sleeping over at boss' place (FYI, the "boss" happens to be a "she" and I was staying over her place to watch over her cat while she was away for the long weekend). I started unpacking and putting my clothes away as soon as I walked into my bedroom. I took one glance just to check if everything's in place. I always do it even though I know no one really goes into my bedroom unless they need to borrow something (my cordless phone, laptop or some little thing) or put freshly laundered clothes on top of my bed. Since I'd been watching over a cat and most of my clothes were covered in cat hair, I put most of them in the laundry basket and the clothes that I never really wore and remained clean, I put them back in my closet. It always amazes me how much clothes I actually bring with me whenever I go away. It's when I come to realize I really do have plenty to wear.

After putting my stuff away, I grabbed my laptop off my bedroom floor (yeah, don't ask...), grabbed the new games I purchased from Future Shop and proceeded to install them. Steve and I had gone to Future Shop over the weekend and bought a few games (they were so cheap we couldn't resist it). We bought two games each and one of the games I had purchased for myself was "Sims 2 - Glamorous Life". It had been years since I last played the Sims and I thought it would be fun to play it again. So I put the CD in my drive and... it popped up a window saying I needed to have Sims 2 installed first. Dammit! I didn't know I had bought the extension pack!! It was right on the box too! Talk about reading skills... yeesh! I couldn't really be mad could I? My own stupidity, my own fault for buying the darn thing and not realizing I needed to have something else installed first. Double yeesh!

Since playing the game is out of the question, I decided to purchase songs out of iTunes and update my iPod and browse the internet. Duh.

At least I got some of my chores done... something productive.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Unbelievable

I can’t believe my own stupidity sometimes.

Last night I decided to organize my purse and put away my old Metropass. Without realizing it, I ended up putting away the wrong one.

This morning, I stood at the bus stop and waited 10 mins for the bus to arrive. When it finally did, I realized I had the wrong Metropass and couldn’t get on the bus so I had to go back upstairs to our condo, get the right Metropass, go all the way back down and wait for the next bus.

I wasted so much time waiting for the bus only to find out I can’t get on it and then wasted some more time retrieving the right Metropass and then waiting again for the next bus. Yeesh!

15 for 15

Got this from Bom.

RULES:
1. Write something about/for fifteen DIFFERENT people.
2. You can NOT (read: NEVER) say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about/for them, you are NOT to tell.

*************

1. I look up to you in so many ways. You truly are a wonderful person with such a good heart.
2. Although we don’t always agree, I hold your opinion with such high regard.
3. I can’t imagine life without you in it.
4. You’re so stubborn! But I love and adore you just the same.
5. Even when you’re doing the most mundane of things, I fall in love with you.
6. I really hope we don’t drift apart for the stupidest of reasons. I hope I get to keep you in my life for as long as I can. Even if you don’t realize it, you mean a lot to me.
7. It is so easy to talk to you. I trust you.
8. I hope you find someone who will appreciate and treasure you. You deserve someone whose heart is as good as yours.
9. You better be in Manila when I come to visit. I’m so proud of you! I admire you for following your heart despite the many challenges you face.
10. I am at a point where I don’t know if I trust you or not.
11. Sana we can hang out together when I go there for a visit.
12. I think you are such a sweet person.
13. You try my patience a lot and I can’t help but be short with you sometimes.
14. Sometimes I’d rather not hear what you think. Really.
15. As long as you are happy, then I am happy for you. I just worry sometimes that you might be selling yourself short.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

A Low

I'm having one of those low days.

Why does it always seem that the things you want the most are the hardest to obtain?

I like to believe that the good things in life are free but there are times when I question that. It feels as if we pay for the good times by having to go through the bad ones. It's as if we have to suffer first to be happy. I don't always feel this way of course, but during those really difficult days, I can't help but think of it.

It's come to a point where everytime I feel extremely happy, I worry. I worry that something bad is bound to happen. Because life isn't perfect and the good comes with the bad. It's a never-ending cycle, you know? High times, low times, high times, low times. It's as if we can only have peace when we die, when all the problems and concerns of the world are far from us. I guess this is part of the reason why the idea of going to heaven is so appealing to us... because finally we are home, where there is no pain and no suffering.

I consider myself to be a generally optimistic person although I think I'm wise enough to know that the reality of a situation isn't as peachy as I hope it would be. Should I be discouraged? Should I just accept the ways of the world, let myself be converned by rules that may not always make sense to me? I don't know. Although it certainly seems easier to just follow... do what the everyone expects of you. Would I be happy about it? Would it be all worth it in the end?

It's difficult to live your life when there are a lot of things that go against you. Not that you're necessarily doing anything wrong... it's just that different people expect different things. Different people want something from you, expect you to be more like them, to see the things they see, believe the things they believe and agree... agree that they are right and you are wrong.

I like to think that I can be strong when needed, that I can always bounce back from whatever is thrown at me. I understand that I can't please everyone and that I am bound to disappoint someone along the way. I also know that I am not perfect, I tend to make wrong decisions too and that at times I tend to be selfish and stubborn.

But I wish that people would see me for who I am - outside of race, religion, culture, sex, age, politics, ancestry... It's already difficult as it is to go through the hardships in life and being pre-judged makes it all the more discouraging. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, to be considerate and to understand where they are coming from and I wish I would be extended the same courtesy. Apparently, it's too much to ask for.