Cold Irony

Napaka-ironic talaga ng buhay.

Today is one of the coldest days of this season and today of all days I had to wait for the bus for 15 minutes. Normally, the bus arrives within 5 minutes of me arriving at the bus stop.

Mind you, that’s 15 long minutes standing in the frigid cold. You’re probably thinking 15 minutes is not that long. Pero when you’re outside, standing in -16 degree temperature that feels like -25 when you factor in wind chill, even 5 minutes seem to take forever.

Nakakainis pa kasi while waiting, 2 express buses passed by. The express bus doesn’t stop at my bus stop so it’s pretty useless to me.

Buti nalang I was smart enough to wear layers of clothing. By the time the bus came, I couldn’t feel the tips of my fingers anymore and my face felt numb and brittle.

As if the long bus wait wasn’t enough, the subway was also a bit slower than usual due to some delays in some stations. By the time I met up with Steve, it was already close to 9 am.

--------------------------------

One of the things I also find ironic is that Sunday is always the coldest day of the week. All the other days are also cold but Sundays are often colder. For example, for the rest of the week we’ll get temperatures between 0 and -10 degrees. But when Sunday comes, it will suddenly drop to -15 degrees. It’s as if the weather knows we have to walk 2-3 blocks to church on Sundays and so early in the morning too. As if getting up early is not difficult enough, it will make it even more challenging by making the day cooler than usual. Why oh why??

Tummy Trouble.

I have such a bad tummy ache. I suspect it is because I ate very little last night and didn’t eat anything until about 8:30 this morning. According to my pediatrician (when I was younger), I have what is called “hyperacidity”. I don’t recall when it started or how I got it but it’s been with me since. As a result, it is not advisable for me to skip meals or go hungry for long periods of time. I also can’t drink pop or orange juice on an empty stomach.

My lola (grandmother) blames it on my eating tons and tons of green mangoes and other citrus fruits when I was little. She says I must’ve have eaten too much. It seems I loaded up well on vitamin C but ended up producing too much acid. I don’t know if it really was the cause of my hyperacidity… it’s just her theory.

Anyhow, if I miss a meal or if I am hungry, my tummy basically keeps producing acid until it hurts. My pediatrician told my parents I should always eat something when I am hungry because my hyperacidity, if allowed to worsen, will eventually lead to an ulcer. And of course I don’t want that to happen so I always make it a point to eat something. But I’m human and therefore bound to err and I sometimes miss meals or don’t eat enough. Hence, I get tummy aches every once in awhile. It hurts like hell though. Enough to reduce me to a fetal position when I am at home or hunched over my desk at work.

My usual remedy consists of food, Tums and bananas. Yes, bananas are great for tummy aches. But the sad part is, it doesn’t go away immediately even if I eat. It normally lasts for a few hours. Everytime I get a tummy ache, I remember that movie Aliens with one coming right out of Sigourney Weaver. With the pain, it certainly feels that way.

Some guys deserve a break.

Sometimes when I am sitting in the train or the bus, I’ll see an old guy, a bit ruffled but dressed decently, carrying a bag or a sack, and he looks beaten and exhausted and it makes me feel bad.

Parang kawawa naman. I don’t even know if I should feel sorry for the guy. I mean, he’s probably happy and content and maybe he just doesn’t look like it. But what if he isn’t happy? What if he’s struggling? What if he’s a nice guy with a really good heart, who’s worked hard his entire life and never got the break he deserves? What if he goes home to an empty apartment and he’s all alone? Or maybe he goes home to a nice little family and they’re just trying to pay the bills and feed the kids and make ends meet?

It’s sad to think that there are a lot of people out there who have such good hearts, who try their best to make a decent living and yet they struggle. It doesn’t seem fair that good people should suffer. It also doesn’t help that not everyone gets the same opportunities. Some people are not as fortunate as others and are forced to do what they can with what they’re given. Sumasama ang loob ko pag naiisip ko na may mga mababait na taong naghihirap samantala yung mga taong mapagsamantala yumayaman.

There are people who are born into poverty and broken families and not everyone is fortunate enough to get an education or even get the proper guidance they need. Heck, not everyone gets to eat 3 times a day! Yes, it’s true that there are some people who struggle because they choose not to help themselves. But there are also those who do everything they can and yet do not seem to get anywhere. Just the other day I saw a guy on the subway and he must’ve been over 60 yrs old and he looked like he was coming from work and he had a backpack with him and he was struggling to even put it on his back! Can you imagine what it must be like to be old and frail and still have to work to pay the bills? And what if he works in a labor-extensive job like a factory or a warehouse or something? I imagine it must be difficult and painful at times. The sad thing is, in the world we live in, we have to work to eat.

My family isn’t rich either and my parents are both working and so do I and my brother. When I see guys like that on the train, I can’t help but worry about my own family. I don’t want my dad to be old and still be working. My parents are getting older and they’re not as strong as they used to be. Mabagal na nga sila maglakad eh.

It makes me wish I could do something to make things better. I wish the world were perfect… that everyone had the same opportunities… that good people do not have to suffer or struggle or go to bed worrying about bills and where the next meal is coming from. I want to believe that hard work really pays off... that if you do your best and make the most out of every opportunity that comes, you’ll eventually get the break you deserve. I really hope that those guys I see on the train are happy and content and that they don’t have to struggle more than they should.

I Like.

I have been trying my best to save money for the past couple of months and this means not spending as much as I used to. I have been doing quite well and have been able to save some money. Not much but not bad either.

Although I still go to the mall every now and then, I am quite happy to report that I have been able to stop myself from spending on unnecessary items. When before I would buy whatever caught my eye, now I am able to look at something and walk towards the opposite direction. Not an easy thing to do but I MUST save.

I recently passed by Banana Republic and saw this handbag:



I like the tan-colored version of it better than the white. It is pricey of course and I wouldn’t spend over $200 for a handbag but I really, really like it.

Sometimes talaga I wish I had a lot of money. Hmpf.

Over 400!

Yes people!

I now have 400 plus posts!

Yeeeehhhhaaawwww!

New & Old Machines.

I was recently given a new CPU at work to replace my old one of a mere 512 MB. I have been complaining to our Tech Manager of how slow my machine is when booting or processing. He’s been reluctant to give me a new machine. I don’t know why but there’s just something about the people who are responsible for the office hardware… they’re always refusing to give you new hardware… for as long as it works, they won’t give you a new one. It doesn’t matter if your hardware practically crawls. As long as it is crawling and not stopping, it works.

About a month or so ago, while in the middle of doing work, I called our Tech Manager and showed him just how slow my computer was and said to him, “Look at how slow this thing is! It takes me so long to get one thing done and if I attempt to multi-task and do something else on the side, it will slow everything down considerably if it doesn’t freeze on me completely.” Seeing how bad it was, he finally agreed to provide me with a new machine. Yay!

So a couple of weeks ago, I was finally handed my new CPU of 2 GB. It’s not really brand new, fresh-out-of-store but it’s relatively new. I think it was purchased several months ago and was used for a few months by one of our former employees. And now, it belongs to me. *GRIN*

I made sure it was re-formatted and I then proceeded to install everything I needed on it. Although I was excited to get a new machine (yes, yes, I can be a little geeky sometimes), I was a bit concerned that I might lose a file or a program in the process. So the Tech Manager suggested that I hook up my new machine and my old one via a shared cable and just switch between the two while I carefully make sure that what I had in the old one will also be available in the new one (confused yet?). I have been enjoying having 2 machines and just being able to switch between the 2 by pressing my Scroll Lock Key twice. I have been able to successfully transfer and re-install everything I need except for my MSN Messenger emoticons.

And yes, my MSN Messenger emoticons are deemed important in my machine migration process.

So for the past few days, whenever I have some spare time at work, I have been trying to figure out how to move my emoticons from the old machine to the new one.

I tried to search for it on Google and was able to find instructions on how copy it via the command prompt in Windows. But try as I might, I couldn’t get the darn thing to work. It kept giving me an invalid parameter length message. So after doing a bit of research, I finally figured out where my emoticons are stored, copied it to a shared directory and then pasted it in the same folder in my new machine. And voila, my emoticons have now been transferred to my new machine. Ang galing ko talaga! In reality, it’s really easy to do and most of you probably already know how to do it but cut me some slack and let me enjoy my ingenuity even for just a bit.

I can now work on my new machine and get rid of the old one. I will miss the old but will enjoy the new.

Nice, long weekend.

Ang sarap talaga ng long weekend!

Yesterday was the first Family Day for Ontario with it being the newest holiday added to our list of holidays. Muntik pang ma-abolish…buti nalang they pushed through with it.

I spent most of my weekend napping, going to the movies and spending time with Steve. We saw The Eye which of course scared the heck out of me. I screamed a few times during the movie and believe it or not, Steve fell asleep. How do you fall asleep in a movie like that? I don’t know. I’ve never fallen asleep in a movie theatre. No matter how boring a movie may be, I always manage to stay awake through the entire thing. My curiosity is what keeps me awake. I’m always dying to know what’s going to happen next. Watching a movie at home is a different story… I can easily fall asleep whilst watching a DVD or a movie on TV. Then on Sunday night, we saw Definitely, Maybe which I really enjoyed watching. I love romantic movies talaga. I like action flicks too but nothing beats watching a romantic, funny, feel-good movie. Tinutukso ngako ni Steve… sabi niya parati daw akong good mood after watching one of my movies.

It’s nice being able to stay up late and then stay in bed for as long as you want the following morning. I never get tired of napping. But don’t you notice that the longer you stay in bed, the sleepier you are the rest of the day? It feels that way for me. I try my hardest to get out of bed before 9 am pero di ko talaga magawa. It’s so hard… my mind is telling me to get up but my body is telling me otherwise.

Anyhow, the weekend weather was a bit of a mess. It started out nicely warm and then ended up being rainy and cold and windy. Sawa nako sa winter. I think we’ve had enough of the snow and wind and the cold. It would be nice to be able to wear a tee or even a light jacket/sweater outside instead of needing to wear layers and layers of clothing. Nakukuba nako kakasuot ng makapal na jacket at sawa na rin ako sa kakalakad sa makapal at madulas na snow sa labas. I’ve ruined 2 pairs of boots this season and I don’t want to buy a new pair since it’s expensive and spring is just around the corner. I might as well tide it out. I’ve noticed that this winter, we’ve been alternating between sun, snow, wind and rain although very few sunny days.

I could use more of these long weekends.

Post Hopping

Once in awhile, I click on links from various blogs and sites and end up on a stranger’s page. I like reading what other people have written… reading about what goes on in other people’s lives and what they think, worry, fear, love or dream about. It’s all so interesting.

It’s comforting to learn that someone else is going through the same joys and pains I go through and worries about the same crap that I do. It’s like getting to know people without really knowing them.

Have you ever wanted to be invisible just so you could spy on people? Well, reading blogs is kind-of like spying. Not necessarily in a bad way. It allows you to peek into someone else’s life minus all that relationship drama. You can choose to be involved or not. Pag ayaw mo na magbasa, eh di lipat ka na sa ibang website.

For a moment, you get to share someone else’s highs and lows. It’s easy to get caught up in it. I often find myself reading someone’s blog and it almost seems as if I know the person kahit di naman talaga. I empathize with them and when they are obviously distraught or upset or worried, I feel it too. I find myself being excited and giddy about someone falling in-love or having kids or getting a promotion or going on a trip. I laugh at the funny things that people write about. I feel sad when I read about losses and disappointments and heartbreak.

Different people of different ages, cultures, beliefs and personalities write. And in reading other people’s posts, I am all the more convinced that regardless of our differences, everyone goes through the same things. We all have accomplishments, we all fall in-love, we all complain about our jobs, we all have disappointments, we all have had our hearts broken, we all have problems, we all worry about the future, we all (in some degree) worship someone or something and we all generally want to be happy.

Every time I visit someone’s page, it’s like catching them in that moment in time. If they’re happy at that time, then I’ll find a happy post and when they’re sad or vulnerable, then I see a very emotional post. What might be true for today might not necessarily be true for tomorrow and that’s also part of the beauty of it because I get to see a person’s different sides and moods and how they try to cope with the different things they go through whether it is something good or bad.

In a way, visiting other people’s pages allow me to be a part of their lives or stories even if all it means is me reading a short and simple post. Like I said earlier, it all is very interesting.

More Snow.

Unbelievable.

It's snowing again.

As if the past 5 snowstorms weren't enough.

Where are we going to put all that snow?!

My bus ride which usually takes 15 minutes took almost an hour due to the snow. Not factoring the subway ride which took about 40 mins.

Steve: "If your friends from the Philippines came to Canada and saw this weather...what would they think?"

Me: "I don't know... they'll probably like it within the first week.. seeing this much snow is pretty exciting although I'm pretty sure that after a week in this weather and in the cold, they'd be cursing soon enough and will probably want to jump in the plane and go back home.."

Steve: "Well... it IS cold honey..."

It's actually quite scary outside..seeing all that snow. It truly boggles my mind as to where all that snow is coming from. You can barely see within 10 feet. It's all just white haze and flurries everywhere.

I'm almost sure that commuting to work tomorrow will be a pain in the ass.

Rant.

This day started out well and then it took a fatal turn after lunch.

I got yelled at. Yes, YELLED at by one of our clients… FRANTIC, I’M-A-BEYOTCH-DON’T-MESS-WITH-ME kind of yelling. Oh only for about… 15 mins…FIFTEEN MINUTES of YELLING!

I would have totally felt guilty had it been my fault why she was so upset. BUT IT IS TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT.

She just kept yapping and yapping and even though I offered to transfer her to someone higher, she ignored me and blamed me all the more. Hey lady, I’m the one HELPING YOU so don’t yell at me. I am MAKING SURE YOU ARE BEING TAKEN CARE OF and I DON’T DESERVE TO BE YELLED AT.

Anyway, I couldn’t get a word edgewise and she had the audacity to say, “STOP BEING NICE TO ME AND FIX MY PROBLEM!! I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW! YOU HEARD ME… RIGHT NOW!!”

Gee woman, maybe if you stop yelling for a minute, maybe I could make you understand what’s going on and what we are doing to resolve it.

So as calmly as I could, I told her simply that although I did train her on how to use the application, I am not her web guy and therefore DO NOT and CAN NOT fix her problems personally. I then proceeded to explain to her that as soon as the issue was brought to our attention, that our team has been looking into it and is already working on resolving it for her. But of course, she would not listen and only heard the part where I tell her I’m not her web guy. So she then proceeded to ask me to transfer her to her web guy so she can then YELL at the poor guy.

Eventually she did give up after yelling at the web guy for about 10 more minutes and then passed the phone to someone else within her company who clearly sounded embarrassed by what just went on. I feel bad for the guy… it must be difficult working for a high-maintenance, know-it-all who is clearly a drama queen.

It would have been easier to deal with her if she knew what she was talking about or what was going on. First of all, I don’t appreciate being yelled at. I think it is rude and a reasonable human being would make an attempt to talk it out first. If you’re going to be upset, at least get the facts straight, do your research, find out what it’s all about and how it all works. Don’t yell and accuse just because it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you imagined it would be especially if you don’t know what it takes to give you what you need.

Indeed, very annoying.

Muntik Na.

Ohmygulay inaantok ako sobra.

I bought a new book from Indigo last night and I began reading it after dinner. Like always, I got hooked and ended up reading it all the way till 1 am. Yikes!

Sabi na nga ba, I should’ve gone to bed after I spoke to Steve on the phone. Instead, being the stubborn kid that I am, I picked up my book and read… and read… and read some more… and before I knew it, it was waaaayyyy past my bedtime. Naiinis tuloy ako sa sarili ko.

What made it worse was the fact that I dreamt about the characters in the book and I kept turning in bed. In short, I didn’t sleep too well in the 4+ hours I had left to sleep.

At 6:20 this morning, my mom went into my bedroom and said, “Karen…di ka ba papasok? Bangon ka na…”

So I turned to face my wall clock and check the time and… whoa!! 6:20?!!

You should’ve seen me jump so fast!

It’s such an awful feeling when you’re so groggy with sleep and then having to be jolted awake. It’s like your mind and body are still booting up and you’re just trying to move and make sense of things as fast as you can. You’re part awake, part dreaming and mostly confused. The only reason you’re able to move and function a bit is because of habit… mechanically moving kung baga.

Thank God for adrenaline… it was the only thing that saved me from being late. Miracle of all miracles, I was able to go through my usual morning routine AND even made it out the door earlier that I normally do. Hanep ‘di ba?

Manual, Snow and the Train

I’m supposed to be writing a manual for one of our major clients regarding a new feature in our application. I started working on it yesterday and still working on it today but I am struggling to concentrate. Today is the first day that I’m not training in a long while so I feel the urge to slack off for once. Nakakatamad talaga. I’m already more than half-way through it and every so often I would work on it some more and then check my emails and then surf the internet a bit and then back to working on it again. Oo na, tamad na kung tamad… inaamin ko naman eh. Nakakatamad lang talaga kasi eh.

-----------------------------------

Yesterday morning when I stepped outside of the house to go to work, I was so surprised to find so much snow on the ground. The night before, it was above 0 degrees and the sky was clear so I was baffled as to how all that snow got there. It must have snowed through the night.

Then as if we hadn’t gotten enough snow already, it snowed some more all of yesterday. It was snowing so much that by the end of the day, all you could see was white everywhere.

Steve and I went for dinner at Yorkdale and for the first time, Dufferin road and the Yorkdale parking lot were empty. I guess everyone either missed work altogether or went straight home afterwards. It was a little scary because there was a lot of wind combined with huge chunks of snow falling from all directions. It easily covered everything in sight.

After dinner, Steve and I both headed home and it just kept on snowing. The roads and sidewalks hadn’t been plowed yet so I had to walk through a LOT of snow. It was kinda fun actually. Scary but fun… just the amount of snow is pretty amazing. When I see so much snow like that, it’s pretty hard to imagine Canada being so hot and humid in the summer.

It snowed like that all of last night too and up till this morning. Once again, I stepped out of the house still amazed at the amount of snow. I was running to the bus stop because I didn’t want to miss the bus but when I rounded the corner and saw that the sidewalk still hadn’t been plowed and snow reached my mid-leg, I decided to just walk slowly. It’s not like I have a choice anyway. I would have had a difficult time running anyway. The good thing is, I still caught my bus.

-----------------------------------

The trains on the subway were running slower than usual this morning, with longer stops at each station. I was already annoyed with the two guys sitting beside me because they kept letting out full blown yawns and someone kept farting. Not that I have a thing against people yawning… But I mind rude yawning (with matching sound pa ha) and especially if you didn’t brush your teeth before leaving the house. Muntik nakong himatayin. Shempre pina-iral ko na naman ang aking “taray” eyes diba. Ang aga-aga nabwibwiset nako.

What annoyed me even more was that the TTC didn’t even inform us as to what was causing all the delay. They normally do anyways but I was really eager to get to work early this morning and not knowing why the trains were delayed was just really irritating.

I eventually made it to Glencairn Station where Steve was patiently waiting for me. Thank goodness we were still able to make it to work early.

-----------------------------------

While writing this post, I did eventually finish the manual. Yay!

Ups and Downs.

Just when you think that life is good...

That you are finally being rewarded for being a decent human being...

That you begin to think you're in heaven, floating among the angels...

Being completely and utterly satisfied...

And that good things do happen to good people....

Life suddenly turns around, gives you a good kick in the bum just to keep you in check and make sure you still know what it is like to be stuck on Earth anxious, worrisome and a bit miserable.

Ah life... sometimes you gotta love it and sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet.

Beautiful Goodbye

Found this song on iTunes and despite it being kind of sad, I like it.

It's hard to say goodbye
When I'm holding out my hands
Holding out my hands for love
That opened my eyes
Filled with tears that never dry
For you the angels cry
Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet love you're
beautiful
Goodnight, goodnight, the stars up above
will be bright
Despite a love bound and broken from the start
Goodnight, my beautiful goodbye
It's hard to comprehend
Our beginning is the end
Of a love that never had
A chance to dance with you
So I choose to take this pain
And wish for more to say than
Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet love you're
beautiful
Goodnight, goodnight, the stars up above
will be bright
Despite a love bound and broken from
the start
Goodnight, my beautiful goodbye
Oh sweet angel of mine
Gone to sail through the night
In m heart you'll always be
I hope that you'll remember me wherever you are
Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet love you're
beautiful
Goodnight, goodnight, stare up above will
be bright
Despite a love bound and broken from the start
Goodbye, Goodnight
Oh, Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet love
you're beautiful
Goodnight, goodnight, the stars up above
will be bright
Despite a love bound and broken from the start
Goodnight, my beautiful goodbye

Beautiful Goodbye
-Josh Kelley

Superbowl Slumber.

Did you guys watch the Superbowl last Sunday?

I did.

I have to say though that it’s a game I truly do not fully understand. Steve explained to me that the point of the game is to advance the ball 10 yards within 4 tries. Players could either run the ball or throw it. Sounds simple right? Yeah… I don’t really get it. I still find it all too confusing.

I don’t understand what moves are considered legit and which ones are fowls. And even though the referee explained why he called the fowl, I still don’t understand. I’ll be honest, I was more interested in the colors of the uniforms and who was better looking between the 2 quarterbacks and I rooted for the team Steve was rooting for. So typical of being a girl ‘no?

In the midst of it all, I couldn’t keep my eyes open and somehow during the game, I fell asleep. Yep, in Steve’s couch while he was watching the game and rooting for his team of choice, I was sleeping.

Apparently, it was a really good game. I don’t really know what constitutes a good football game. All I know is, before I fell asleep, it was 7 Patriots – 3 Giants and when I woke up, the Giants had won with 17 pts and the Patriots with 14 pts. I missed it all and only woke up to catch the presentation of the trophy.

When I got home later that evening, my mom asked me if Steve and I watched the game. I told her yes but that I had fallen asleep and didn’t really see the whole thing. She said my dad and 2 brothers watched it too and when the game got intense, they were all yelling and jumping and near the end of the game, my mom caught all of them standing in the living room watching the last few minutes unfold instead of sitting down.

Do I prefer hockey over football? Oh yes. At least hockey I could understand a bit better.

Darn Movie, Darn Playlist.

My brilliant idea of going home earlier than usual and going to bed by 10pm didn’t quite go as planned.

After work, I passed by the STC to pick up a few items and sushi and then headed home. I was starving by the time I walked in the door and was really glad to find warm, Chinese food waiting on the table from one of my fave Chinese restaurants. I couldn’t believe how much food I ate in less than half an hour! To top it off, my mom brought out cherry cheesecake for dessert. Yum!!

Anyhow, the reason why I wasn’t able to go to bed early was because they were showing “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” on TV. It’s been so long since I saw it so I told myself I was going to watch just the first hour of the movie and then go to bed. Well… yeah… that didn’t happen. I got hooked and ended up watching the whole thing until 11:30 pm. What can I say? I’m a sucker for romantic, feel-good movies. Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson look really good together and would have been a cute couple had they dated for real.

After the movie, I washed the dishes and finally got ready for bed. Then I remembered some of the songs in the movie that I liked and decided it wouldn’t hurt if I spent 10-15mins downloading them on iTunes. One song led to another until I found myself downloading 15 songs from various artists. I then proceeded to transfer them all to my iPod but in doing so, I accidentally deleted one of my playlists! I was like, “NNNNOOOOOO!! Sh*t! Dammit! Aaahh!” And so I spent the next half an hour or so re-creating the entire playlist from scratch.

What time did I finally go to sleep? 1 am. Yeesh.