So Little Time, So Much To Do

Doesn't it seem like the years just fly by? It sure seems that way to me.

Just yesterday I was 7 and then 14 then I was 18 and before I knew it, I'm already in my twenties. I've heard it so many times before: Life is too short. But it doesn't really hit you when you're just 7 or when you're a teenager. To me then, it was as if I had my entire life still ahead of me and I had plenty of time. I still do have plenty of time... I'm still young afterall but still, I can't help but think that sooner or later I'll no longer be wondering what being in my thirties must be like or being in my forties. It always seems so far away and then it hits you, you're there and you're wondering where the years went. Not that growing up is bad or anything... but sometimes I worry that I might not have enough time to do what I want to do. It's like when you're a kid, you think, "When I grow older I'm going to do this and that..." and then you grow and grow and you look back at those goals and aspirations and what you thought you would've accomplished by now and you realize you're way behind. It gets me thinking, "Will I be able to do everything I want to do before I go?" Gosh, I really hope I do get as much as I can out of life.

Just the other day, JR asked me, "Ate, when you look at yourself right now and what you thought you would be at this age, do they match? Are you what you thought you would be at 23?" I was quiet for awhile and I finally answered, "Partly yes and partly no.." One thing I realize as I grow older is that life just doesn't go as planned. Yes, we can make plans, have goals, and work to have them... but life isn't predictable. There will be curveballs, alternate routes and disappointments but really, when I think about it, it isn't all that bad. It's scary to think life can pretty much throw anything at you. But isn't it comforting to know that there is a higher being who watches over you and gives you what's best for you? I think life is not so much about the destination...but rather, it's about the journey. We'll probably stumble several times, get our hearts broken, and make mistakes but that's life - the experience of it all. The good and the bad. So maybe, I didn't get everything I wanted at the age of 23 and maybe I had imagined it a little differently but the bottomline is, I don't have any regrets. I love who I am despite the fact there's so much more to learn and improve and I love what I have and who I have in my life.

As for the years ahead, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I'll be able to do what I want to do, see the places I want to see, meet the people I want to meet. I can't say whether tomorrow will be good or bad. The only thing I can do is pray. Pray that despite what tomorrow will bring, I will remain hopeful. I will pray for a life that is good and full and the rest is up to God.