My mom had to wake me up 3 times this morning. I was dreaming and she was also in my dreams so I thought her waking me up was part of the dream. Thank God she noticed I wasn’t getting out of my bed and had patiently woken me up 3 times or else I would have been really late for work.
Anyhow, I was just reading Diogo’s post about controlling emotions and just remembered Jerry saying I was such a cry baby. I cry when I’m upset, mad, frustrated, or hurt. I cry when my dad raises his voice while talking to me and I cry when I’m very worried. Funny because I never cry when I get injured unless it’s really, really bad. If Iwere to get slapped, I would probably cry not because of the physical pain but more because you slapped me and I’m emotionally hurt (I’ve never been slapped on purpose by the way). I don’t know how the crying starts because one minute I’m just talking or sitting there quietly and the next thing I know, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I normally cry when I have too much emotion like when I’m really, really upset, hurt or very angry. I prefer crying than shouting or throwing things around. It’s a good outlet for me.
You know what’s funny? I feel more like myself when I cry. What do I mean by that? It means you’re seeing me with my guard down. You’re seeing nothing but exactly how I feel. I don’t care how I look and I don’t care what anyone else thinks... I just need to vent. I need to let it out. I don’t like crying in public but I can’t always help it. Sometimes I’ll just cry. Some of my friends have seen me cry and they can tell you what I’m like. I pretty much say what goes inside my head while I’m crying. I remember when I broke up with my former bf… I cried all night and then I had to work on a project the following day. I went to a meeting at a friend’s house and we were working on our project and I was crying the entire time. They wanted me to go home and rest but I reminded them we needed to finish the project because the deadline was coming up. Imagine me sitting in front of the computer, crying and occasionally banging my head while uttering the words, “I’m so stupid…” It really is a sight to behold. Most people see me as a very cheerful person who always has it together so it surprises them to see my crying.
I hope you never see me cry because it means I’m not ok. =P
3 comments:
Its good to let it out tho Karen. Some people think they are ok and they are no where close to ok. Talking and crying to someone else is extremely healthy and you can also get healing and comfort that way. A lot of people cry themselves to sleep and then the next day they act like verything is fine.. then 6 months or a year later they realise that it was never ok. I think you know yourself very well and thats a plus.
It's ok to let out a cry from time to time, it's like the antiseptic to our tarnished emotions.
Nothing's wrong. We're human. :)
I always fall asleep after crying.. I don't always feel better when I wake up though. I'm just as tired as before but with puffier eyes and messy hair. haha!
Pao, I'm so glad to see you commenting on my posts.. awww.. =)
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